Ta-thought

X-D

2011-07-31T20:49:00.001+07:00

2011-06-28T19:31:00.001+07:00

'What happened?' isn't always the best way to show that you really care.
It's annoying sometimes.
We still have eyes and heart to show that we care, rather then asking 'what happened'
I won't ask you for what had happened.
I'll wait till you think it's the right time to tell me
I'm not forcing you, I just want you to be free
The best way to solve problems is not involving too many people on it
Not all of our stories are meant to be told to everybody. Keeping it is better sometimes

Wrong Ways to Stay Bright

2011-05-01T15:17:00.002+07:00

When i was a third grader, i don't even know that 'blackberry' does exist. What i knew that time was strawberry.

When i was a fifth grader, i don't know how to enjoy my time with 'Apple'.

When i was a sixth grader, i was at the time when i started to enjoy camera that much. I took pictures everywhere, with my cellphone's VGA camera. (well in my case, my mom didn't let me bring our pocket digicam). Wide smile and pathetic face. LOL uknowwhatimean.

But what will happen, if you live that way now? i mean, you're ,living with the way i 'used to'now
People will consider you as alien and started to give you 'secret-awkward' nickname.

Yea look around.
Your elemenntary juniors started to have you as their blackberry messenger contact, meet you at the foodcourt with mac infront of them, and take pictures with their brand-new latest DSLR camera.
A lil bit offensive, but obviously epic.

When you have read the contrasting points provided above, you'll think again about how fast does this world spins now. I mean, wow everything changed that fast.

But i have just started to go to the main point.
What i am talking about here is how people stay bright here, in this fake world.

People started to change their orientation in viewing someone.
All of us know that appearance and style are important but we shoud've realized that those outer-looks were not an exact measurement in judging someone.
yea that'd be unfair if you judge people by only looking at their facebook photos or their twitter feeds.
Someone with many facebook friends won't always be famous at the real world and those who tweet thousand times a day won't always be a good speaker in front of the public.

As the effect of that unfair judging culture, people tends to be more selective in starting a friendship.
I mean, some people only want to be friends with the famous one. Acting super nice in front of them and closing their eyes for the rest; those who were 'not-so-fabulous'
Even some of people nowdays tend to stay away from those that they consider as 'un-cool' and behave nicely to the fab ones.

other thing(s).

People think that their potraits; their image is everything. some of them even think that being cool is their obligation, so they build 'another side' of them (their alter-ego) to make people think that they are cool.
And the biggest mistake here is, they interpret the word 'COOL' or 'FABULOUS' pathetically. They give their own definition of those words.
Some have the opinion lyk, hm, being cool is being reckless, naughty, or...................biting.
biting in here is ummmmmmm means that you're indifferent;ignorant. judes lah gampangnya.
They started to give false impressions such as 'obeying norms symbolized drools' or being naughty is cool.
jadi kayak apa ya, padahal nakal, judes lah gak menjamin orang itu cool atau gaul kan.

Orang jadi (cenderung) memandang sebelah mata orang-orang yg gak ngikutin trend (coba akui saja kadang ini ada benarnya)

People tend to underestimate those who don't follow trends, and those who were not labeled by branded stuffs. people nowdays are demanded to follow the standard of 'existance'

Percaya atau nggak, kasarnya, kesimpulannya, orang tuh kayak dituntut untuk mengikuti standar ke-kece an. ngikutin jaman.

if you don't fulfill those standards, no one will see you.

deep condolence from my hear. sincerly, me. for knowing the fact that these 'unofficial' rules of life applied in our life now.

it's like, everybody's competing each other to be the brightest one among others. well i know that everyone wants (needs) to be noticed but this is not the right way.

I don't blame those who were (truly) cool atau yang memang gaya hidup nya begitu. Tapi ya jangan jadi mengeneralisasikan orang dari tampilan nya atau style nya.

everyone has their own style and people can't be standardized

Stop judging people from the way they live; before you know them much
stop making people feel like they have to follow the trends, because trends depend on where do you stand
stop being a nice evil, who acts nicely ONLY to those you think you have to. i mean, being nice to everyone is way better.
stop making your own (WRONG) standard of cool. yea, being naughty aren't cool at all and norms will always be norms. we should follow that, even tough time change

follow what your heart wants, but you have to wise in choosing your heart's will. don't follow your eveil side.
try to be yourself but don't forget to keep humble, no egoistic allowed here (actually).

yea maybe you may say 'i was born this way' but HEY what's the disadvantages of changing yourself to be a better person.
good changes will always be apreciated here ladies and gentelman.

Don't look. but look and listen.
don't (only) look and listen. NEVER FORGET TO FEEL.

Sorry for the broken English. i wasn't originated there BOOHOO
i started to forget how to write properly man.

finding troubles on reading the text above? congratulation, you're not an alien :B

2011-04-30T20:48:00.000+07:00

LOVE is hurting and hurted. making someone hurted and hurting someone

The more you walk, the more u leave traces of your steps.

20-02

2011-02-20T21:50:00.005+07:00

20th of February. Happy (supposed) birthday to my Father. May god always bless you till the end of time :) Talking about father, well i know him for a while, but i guess those short time told me a lot about him.
Those short time also gave me a lot of stories to be remembered and lessons that can be used for the whole of my life.
Physically, what i remembered about him, my father was a tall man. Not that thin but far from the word plumpy. That netherlands blood flows on his vein-considered as white tanned, with dark brownish hair. Some people said that i resemble him that much (daughter commonly resembles her faher,rite) in appearance, but those who know both of us well also said that we have some certain same habits.

Well, to tell you the truth i don’t really know what’s his certain habit (i was so young at that time) but it’s just happening to me. I walk with the same style like him. The way i stare something, the way i sit, our points of views, and (from what people told me) i often said the same words, same phrase that he did.
However, i know that he’s better than me, and i do not fully resembled him. He’s way charming than i am, he’s an education-oriented man, he’s thought is brighter than i am, he’s more intelligent than i am and he always know what to do and decide the best way. But most of all, he really shows me how is a real man supposed to be and how is a real father figure in a family. When i was that little girl, i have a very complicated feelings for him. At one side i’m a kinda afraid with him-his strict and discipline nature, but on the other side, i love the way he loved me, the way he asked me to play with on weekends, the way he gently calm me and things that he always apply for my own goodness. He’s a real man, he’s so discipline and he always walk steadily with his principals. And he always build me to have the same nature like him. Unlike other(mostly) father that treats his daughter like everything, he never let the word ‘spoiled’ to be a part of me. Girl is not a reason for being spoiled.
I remembered about the time that he taught me to write. He always complain my handwriting hahaha i’ll always remember that. He trained me a lot to write, because he didn’t want me to have a bad handwriting, like him(but until i write this, i never know how to make a beautiful handwriting xoxo).
Another story happened to me. When i was on my first year on kindergarten, each students were obliged to donate some of their money for Idul Adha’s event. Unlike the usual –school days, my parents gave me some money to be donated(on the normal days, they didn’t give me money-my mom brought some foods for me). On the prior days, i donated the money i brought just like what my parents asked me. But one day, my friends persuaded me to use that money for buying bubblegums on the Elementary students’ canteen. With my high curiosity, i’m on my friends’ plan, and we finally used our money for those bubblegums, instead of donating them. I did that because i think my parents won’t realize that. But i was wrong. In the afternoon, my mother called me and asked me; did i donate the money. I lied. And she (pretended) like she believed me. When i my father arrived from his work, he called me to sit in front of him and asked the same thing; did i donate the money. I lied again. I wondered from whom did they know about that little lie? Why do they have to take it serious? Oh god. I was annoyed at that time. My father keep asking me about that then my mother came ‘your teacher called me this afternoon and she said that you didn’t donate anything today. She always writedown the income from that donation for each students’. Ok. At that time i really don;t know what to do. I’m speechless. “You’re grounded for one month. No bicycle in evening, no friends visiting your house, stay at home for your whole days on this month. No excuses except for school and courses. Who taught you to lie? This is the consequences for a liar” At that time, i taught my father was only trying to frighten me. He won’t do that to me, i thought. But again, i was wrong. He never plays with his words. He really punished me, no excuses. One month. When the rest of my family were out for dinner or even shopping, i stayed home with my babysitter and prohibited to go anywhere. I thought that he didn’t love me at all.Why do he have to punish me? Those words made me trembling. Just because that 1500 rupiahs i have to suffer that way.

But now i know why did he punish me that way.
He’s trying to change my mindset.
He’s trying to make me think for thousand time before i lie, he didn't and never want me to be a liar(or a future corrupter).
He wanted me to know that we should be responsible for every single decision that we took.
He wants me to be a good person. That’s all. He’s very good in teaching me moral values, and he know how to taught me as soon as he can, at my very young age.
Another story. I used to be allergic with chocolate. But i always love chocolate for my whole life. SO one day i secretly ate a small bar of chocolate. Veeeeeeeeeeeerry small one. I did it secretly because my father won’t allow me. At the night, i got a hard cough until i threw up. My father directly knew that i ate chocolate-i don’t know how. He blame me at that time, even when i still suffered with that cough. I taught he was that horrible. Why did he have to blame me that time, when it’s just that hard for me to breathe?
But now i know, again he didn’t want bad things happened to me. He loves me. He wanted to taught me that we should not break rules. Especially rules for our own health. He loves me, and he showed me the right way in loving.

Loving is not always giving what that people want, but loving is giving what that people needs the most.The best for them, even to reach it we should goes through a slippery ways.

Besides. He’s such an adorable father. He went overseas that often because his job asked me to do so. And he never forget to bring me things such as toys. Well that sounds very common but it’s always be a precious when a father give things to his child. When he had plenty time for me, he always brought me to the game centre, play tag with me. And we often play the cowboy game-i am the cowboy and he was the horse xoxo.
Beautiful memories are hard to be told rite?

He was, he is a great man. He is a super dad, a real father. He is a gentle man actually, it’s just me who couldn’t see that at that time. It’s such a pity that i couldn’t spend more time with him. I couldn’t see his goodlooking appearance. I couldn’t learn more from him, i couldn’t know him that well.
Now i regret myself for (used to) hating him (because he punished me). I realized that i love him so much, more than i can explain with words, and i wish i could have more time to thank him for what he gave, what he taught to me and how he loves me.
He’s more than just a great man. He acted like how a man supposed to be.
You’ll never really know how much you love someone until they leave you.

Today, he supposed to be 43. But so sad that he only stepped on this world for 35 years. I’m trying to make him proud of me-even if he couldn’t see me here. I’ll always remember what he had taught to me. Even now i'm living with my father-in-law, he won't and never be replaced.
I want to be better than him.

Love your parents while they’re next to you, or you’ll regret it later. Listen to them, or you’ll miss their voices. Remember what they said, because someday those words may lead you to get out from darkness.

What they are doing, decisions that they take are all for your own goodness-their beloved child.

I never realized how much one can love somebody. And well, that is the strangest fact of life.

National Science Camp 2011, Surabaya

2011-01-14T15:16:00.004+07:00

hello pals!

this post won't be my long-thought texts just like i post oftenly

this post will be a recount of my experience in participating an event called National Science Campe 2011

Yea that was such an unforgettable moments because i could get a lot of lessons, friends from many different regions of Indonesia with different backgrounds and of course, lots of story

LOL

stop reading from now if you think you don't wanna read a long-unimportant thing of mine ;p

this is fckn long, don't read this just for complaining xoxo

I came (back) to school from a (short) holiday on fourth of January and on 5th(or six) my teacher called me to her office and yea. shocked. big news(?)

Gua kira kan kelas 9 semester 2 udah gak ada lomba-lombaan lagi, ternyata masih ada-_-

Yaudah kan akhirnya mau-gak mau tapi mau akhirnya dikasih tau kalo gue, Adrian, Nabil sama Fitri disuruh ikut Science camp di Suraabaya gitu.

Sebenernya nama science camp itu gak maksudnya sains semua tapi lombanya mata pelajaran matematika biologi fisika bahasa inggris gitu. Itu lomba nya diikuti semua sekolah RSBI di Indonesia

Tapi, berhubung si Fitri gak boleh yaudah dia replaced sama Azka

Jujur aja dari awal emang gak niat fight juga -_-v cuma jadi pengen ikut karna bareng temen-temen kan lomba yang nginep tigahari keluar kota belom pernah, ya jadi pengen nyoba aja gitu

Mana sama guru juga, apalagi sama kepala sekolah(??)

tapi ya gimana-gimana kayak rasanya melas juga gua cewek sendiri, takut ntar yang tiga pada asik sendiri nah gua nya cengo sendirian mencoba kenalan sama orang gajelas-_-

Dengan waktu gak sampe seminggu(mungkin cuma 4 hari an kalo gue) latian, Selasa, 11 Januari 2011 gue, Adrian Azka Nabil sama Bu Wiwin(yang ngegantiin bu Yanti) Pak Heru sama Bu rita ditambah orang komite yang entah siapa

kita berangkat ke bandara

Hari pertama

sebenernya gue gak bareng rombongan sekolah sih, tepatnya ketemuan di bandara. terus pisah sama nyokap dan mulai deh-_-

Pas pertama-tamanya gue kan rada masih ngantuk, jadi rada males juga, sekaligus excited. (excited for the trip, not the competition)

Terus kan di pesawat ternyata gue dapet seat nya bareng Nabil tuh, dan ternyata bareng sama si bapak komite gak jelas yang gatau namanya siapa.

gue kan males banget kan duduk di samping bapak-bapak tak dikenal (karena firasat gak enak), tapi si Nabil gue suruh duduk di samping bapak itu gamau T.T

alhasil gue duduk di antara Nabil dan si bapak gajelas itu. dan firasat buruk gue bener.

Bapak itu rada...........ya gitu lah.

Gue mau merem, dia curcol ke gue. curcoooooooooool terus sepanjang perjalanan,mana curcolnya rada nyeremin-_-

dia cerita-cerita tentang dia pernah serem lah pas naik pesawat gara-gara cuaca buruk. kan gue jadi parno soalnya pas berangkat cuacanya kurang bagus T.T

Dan ternyata si bapak itu beneran (secara gak langsung) nakutin gue. pas flight itu tuh cuacanya jelek bgt. goyang-goyangnya parah pesawatnya mana gelap. gue kan udah takut jatoh aja(?)

tapi nggak deng, alhamdulillah sampe di Bandara Surabaya~

AKhirnya kan habis makan sebentar di bandara, rombongan kita naik mobil sewaan ke asrama Haji tempat nginep. sumpek parah di mobil gue digencet bu Rita sm Bu Wiwin-_-v

pas mau pisah jalan sama Bu rita, tiba-tiba Bu rita nyamperin gue kan terus ngasih amplop

"ini ya Tara, buat uang beli minum hehehe"

gue kan bingung, minum kok gak disediain, malah beli sendiri

terus ternyata Bu rita ngasih amplop juga ke Azka nabil Adrian

Nah pas di asrama haji kan gue sm azkaadrianabil nunggu para guru buat daftar ulang. eh pas lagi duduk-duduk kita diwawancarain sama wartawan koran gitu tentang science camp nya

sedikit freak sih emang pas disitu-_-

terus kita buka amplopnya bu rita ternyata dapet duit~~~~~~ merdeka

terus kan setelah cek laptop sama administrasi selesai kan kita di bagiin gedung-gedung asramanya. ternyata gedung nginepnya itu di bagi berdasarkan provinsi, jadi ya gue segedung nginep sama orang-orang banten juga

nah terus gue udah takut suram aja. ngiri sama azkadrianabil yang sekamar sama orang yang udah kenal kan. lah gue pasti nyampur sama orang takut.

yaudah kan si azkadrianabil sekamar sama orang terus gue dicariin kamar sama bu Wiwin deh. ternyata dapet kamarnya selang sekitar 3 kamar dari kamar azkadrianabil.

yaa temen sekamar gue ternyata pas udah kenal asik-asik kok. 4 anak dari SMP nya Serang sama 2 lagi dari Pembagunan Jaya yang kebetulan udah kenal dari sebelomnya gara-gara lomba-lomba gitu; Lulu sama Ajeng

yaa udah kayak gitu gue udah bisa tenang lah, ternyata gak suram juga. sekamar ber 7 gitu. seru deh

kan baru sampe kamar sebentar kita langusng pergi lagi ke Universitas Airlangga(unair) buat acara opening

nah ke cara opening itu kan naik bus nya per matapelajaran lomba sama nomer urut, jadi yang dari 4 tangsel kan kepisah semua.

yaudah kan gue di bus 22. sebus sama temen se kamar juga(si ajeng) kebetulan

terus jadinya kenalan sama anak-anak yang di bus yang dari mana-mana. ada yang dari sidoarjo mojokerto bengkulu daaaaaan lain-lain

nah kan akhirnya sampe di unari karna gak jauh dari asrama tempat nginepnya. pas turun, gue sama tmeen-tmeen gue ngeliat kan, kok semua anak dapet makan sore, tapi bus gue doang yang ngga?

akhirnya gue berempat gitu mondar-mandir nyari pembimbing bus buat nagih jatah makan(?)

udah itu kan trouble banget soalnya ternyata pembimbing bus gua yang lupa ngebagiin makanannya

jadinya mau gamau gue berempat sama si pak pembimbing bus yang nganter makanannya ke anak-anak se bus-_-

terus itu acar openingnya lamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabanget

tapi ada choir, tari &musik daerah sama orchestra nya yang bagus(Y)(Y)

gue kan duduknya bareng anak-anak se bus. tapi si azkadrianabil duduknya barengan. yaudah gue mondar mandir duduknya bareng anak bus atau sama azkadrianabil

tapi akhirnya gue duduknya bareng azkadrian nabil soalnya bisa sambil nge cas hp. mulai dari situ gue sama anak 4 tangsel(azkadrianabil) udah mulai ngablu, ngakak-ngakak dan ya barengan

setelah berjam-jam opening, akhirnya kan balik lagi ke asrama haji. kita berempat(anak 4 tangsel) kan nyari bus nya masing-masing tapi bareng gitu. nah adrian sama azka udah nemu bus nya

tapi gue nyari bus gua udah ilang kan. terus koordinatornya bilang kalo bus nya bebeas aja, asal penuh bus nya bakal jalan. yaudah kan katanya si nabil suruh ikut bus dia aja. akhirnya gue jbjb di busnya Nabil bareng anak PJ(pembangunanjaya) yang kenalannya si nabil

pas sampe di asrama, kan kita jalan di koridor gitu, ternyata ada kayak banyaaaaaaak banget foto-foto candid yang diambil pas acara opening,

terus kan gue nabil sama si anak pj ngeliatin fotnya, tapi nabil gamau liat soalnya foto dia aib banget. jadi pas difoto dia tuh gamau eh malah di foto, jadi aib-_-

terus kan karna penasaran fotonya nabil diacari terus akhirnya ditebus

sumpah itu fotonya bikin ngakak banget LOL

si azkadrianabil fotonya ada semua, lah gue? gak ada-_-

nah itu kan kamar gue dikunci, kuncinya dibawa anak Lulu, jadi gue nunggu dulu bareng nabil dan si anak pj yang kebetulan senasib

akhirnya pas udah lamaaaaaaaaabanget nunggu, si Lulu akhirnya dateng, terus gue sama temen sekamar lainnya bisa masuk

itu tuh malemnya tidurnya malem banget. mana pas mau tidur tiba-tiba ada kecoak di deket tempat tidurnya ajeng. jadinya rusuh kan

tapi akhirnya dibuang sih kecoaknya.

Hari ke dua

Nah kan hari kedua. gue bangun pagi banget itu. jam setengah 4 pagi kan si Lulu udah bangun duluan, yaudah karna ada bunyi-bunyi gue ikutan bangun. serius disitu kamarnya dingin banget makanya gue udah gabisa tidur lagi gara-gara kedinginan

akhirnya kan satu-satu pada bangun, terus habis mandi kan mau sarapan. terus kan gue contact-contactan sm azkadrianabil terus kita makan nya bareng

tempat makannya panaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasbgt mana makanannya gaterlalu enak-_- kita kan gadapet tempat, akhirnya seteloah nyari-nyari, para anak PJ udah selesai makan jadi kita nempatin tempat mereka

Habis dari makan terus kan ke Unair lagi buat lomba nya.

parah itu lombanya. soalnya yang session pertama sih gak susah. tapi ya kurang teliti gue nya. habis kan pake laptop ngerjainnya, itu tuh gampang banget salah klik. yang session kedua soalnya susah parah. muka-muka nya tuh disana pada frustasi juga

kan di depan gue pas lomba itu duduk anak dari SMP Pusri. nah itu anaknya mukanya melas banget. mana dia muntah lagi-_- pas session lomba pertama dia muntah, yang kdeua juga muntah lagi

seriusan gue pengen ngakak liat si anak pusri itu mukanya melaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasbgt tapi ya mau ketawa kan gatega juga

soal lombanya.

jadi lombanya itu dikerjainnya di application.

application lomba itu udah didownload dari jauh hari tapi baru bisa dibuka soal nya pas hari lombanya

itu tuh kita jadai kayak ngisi LJK, tapi gaperlu buletin, tinggal di klik

Terus kan udah habis lomba kan tujuannya mau ke Lokasi Lumpur Lapindo, Masjid Agung Surabaya sama Jembatan Suramadu.

Seriusan gue males banget itu, tujuannya gitu doang-_- mau ngapain coba di lumpur lapindo sama Suramadu-_-

tapi yaaaaa justru serunya pas perjalanan gitu.

gue selama perjalanan duduknya sama ajeng sama anak dari Pekalongan yang kalo gak salah namanya Mia deh

di perjalanan tuh ngakak parah

mulai dari si Nabil. kan gue sama dia bbm an gitu ngomongin bus nya, terus tiba-tiba dia blg kalo dia kentut di bus dan itu bau banget-__- dia melas gitu mau beol tapi gak mau gara-gara toilet nya gaenak-_-

terus lagi dibus tuh sepanjang perjalanan diputerin vdc lagu-lagu gak jelas gitu-_- masa ada band namanya Zogut lah yang lagunya abal-abal gombal tapi bikin ngakak.

lagu pacar digondol pergi lah videoklip pocong lah (it won't make sense if you don't see it by yourself. totally hillarious!!!)

di lapindo tuh gue sama azkadrianabil cuma ngobrol-ngobrol doang. ngobrolin kentut nabil, terus si azka ngelawak tiada henti dan adrian seperti biasanya selalu lebay-_-

terus pas di lapindo tuh bu wiwin nyuruh kita foto-foto. padahal ngapain coba foto di lumpur gitu, gak ada indah nya sama sekali

kita kan gamau tapi akhirnya dipaksa paksa yaudah kita foto deh.

terus ternyata, alasan bu wiwin maksa kita buat foto itu karena dia sendiri pengen foto-foto-______-

terus ke Masjid Agung. it has a beautiful architecture. for sure.

disana cuma solat, terus beli snack disana

terus akhirnya pulang, balik ke asrama.

sampe di asrama kan gue beres-beres, mandi terus maen aja di kamar.

tadinya kan sebenernya diajakin nonton wayang sama si azkanabil tapi gue males dan mereka pun males-_- adrian kan juga habis jalan-jalan sama bopkapnya yang kebetulan dinas disana

terus kan lagi-lagi timbul masalah perbokeran. adrian kan udah pulang. terus si adiran azka pengen beol.

si azka sama adrian akhirnya pergi ke lobby utama buat beol disana soalnya gossip-gossipnya toilet disitu pewe.

terus habis itu mereka jalan-jalan ke bazaar di area asrama.

tiba tiba si Nabil datengin kamar gue, dia pengen beol di toilet lobby utama, tapi udah ditinggal. dia gapunya temen di kaamarnya.minta anterin sama gue kan dia ke lobby tapi gue gamau kan, akhirnya gue suruh dia minta anter temen sekamarnya aja

tapi di kamarnya itu tinggal ada anak yg dia gakenal gitu

nah anak sekamarnya yang gak dikenal itu ada yang namanya HOLONG.

tapi si Nabil nyebutnya Tailong-_- semenjak itu gue jadi ngakak terus gara-gara nama aneh itu-tailong atau holong

terus kan akhirnya nabil gajadi boker, si adrian sama azka udah dateng. kita kan sepakat akhirnya mau ngasih oleh-oleh buat guru-guru yang udah bimbing kita

adrian ngasih bu Yanti sama Bu Wiwin, azka ngasih pak heru, gue ngasih Pak agus terus Nabil ngasih ke Bu Nina

terus sengaja gitu deh bu Nina diaksih oleh-olehnya warnanya beda sendiri soalnya dia spesial-_-

terus kita langsung ngebayangin gimana salting plus bahagianya Bu Nina pas dikasih oleh-oleh dari murid kesayangannya-Nabil.

Hari Ketiga.

kan hari ketiga tuh gaada acara kecuali closing.

kan kita(anak 4 tangsel) langsung makan pagi nya pagi banget. supaya tempat makan nya masih sepi kan.

habis itu kan kita jalan-jalan aja disekitar area asrama, nah tiba-tiba gue disapa temen se bus gue, terus dia blg, pengumuman hasil lombanya udah bisa diliat

kita berempat langsung kan mau liat

terus yaaaaaaa gak ada yang menang ^o^v

gue aja peringkat 113-_- tapi itu tuh nilai nya banyak yang kembar-kembar. padahal kalau diurutin berdasarkan nilai gue masih peringkat 12 an :'(

tapi ya udah lah. at least we've tried. get the experience. ya emang dari awal gak expect untuk menang sih, yang penting seru-seru nya :D

terus kan kita balik ke asrama, soalnya si azkadrianabil sama gue juga pada capek pengen duduk. kan mereka masuk kamar mereka, gue juga tadinya pengen masuk kamar gue, tapi ternyata kamar gue kosong terus gue kan gabisa masuk. karna kuncinya dibawa anak Serang, si Lala

yaudah gue cengo di teras asrama kan-_-

terus tiba tiba si Nabil nongol nyuruh gue masuk aja soalnya yang ada tinggal azkadrianabil doang. yaudah disana tuh cuma melongo doang maen laptop sambil nungguin acara opening mulai.

terus gara-gara bosen jalan lagi deh muter-muter. terus ketemu bu wiwin, kita disuruh nge save soal-soal lomba nya.

yaudah akhirnya kita nge printscreen-in soal-soal lombanya (soalnya gabisa di copy biasa dan nanti soalnya gabisa dibuka lagi)

gila itu capek parah nge printscreen-save 100 kali per orang-_-

itu lamaaabgt kita ngebajak soal sama bu Wiwin di kamar kan. habis itu kita ke luar lagi. ke tempat closing. tapi gara-gara full, jadinya nalik lagi ke kamar nganggur lagi.

NAH

pas di kamar lagi santai-santai, kita ngomongin anak yang sekamar sama azkadrianabil yang namanya Tailong. kita kan ngetawain sama ngomongin si Tailong terus. terus kita selidikin ternyata namanya bukan tailong, tapi Holong-_-

udah kan disitu gua ngakak terus ngedenger cerita-ceirta azkadrianabil ttg Holong. dan ya ngetawain banyak hal-hal yang udah terjadi disana

eh tau tau pas lagi ngetawain si Holong Mangasah, tiba-tiba orangnya DATENG-_-

gua kan gabisa nahan ketawa habis itu orang bikin ngakak. jadi ya selama holong packing gitu gue ketawa terus, tapi gue ngeles aja supaya gak ketawan kalo gue ngetawain si Holong

terus kan udah si Holong dan kawan-kawan pulang deh

terus anak-anak Pj kan pada dateng ke kamar azkadrianabil. soalnya yang cowok kamarnya disitu. terus kan si lulu sama ajeng(yang sekamar sama gue) juga gabisa masuk kamar, jadi ya kita kumpul disitu sambil makan

habis itu para anak PJ pamit deh pergi

terus kan kita tuh udah nganggur dari jam 12 ahn. tapi pesawat baru berangkatnya jam setengah 7 malem. akhirnya kan gua sama azkadrianabil sih pengennya nonton di galaxy Mall. tapi sama Bu wiwin kita diajakin ke suramadu LAGI-_-

kiat kan males banget tuh

terus karna ujan katanya gajadi ke suramadu

akhirnya ke Tunjungan Plaza kan biar ketemuan sama Bu rita

tapi di Tunjungan Plaza cuma bentar, dan..........

Akhirnya jadi ke suramadu juga ujung-ujungnya-_-

bosen parah disana

kan dari tunjungan itu kan ke suramadu di sewain dua mobil. enak banget si azkadrianabil semobilnya cuma sama pa heru, lah gua bareng bu rita bu wiwin sama pak komite yang gajelas-_-

tersiksa parah, sepanjang perjalanan gua. di curcol in mulu, ditanya-tanya sama diajak ngobrol terus sama bu rita pak komite gajelas -_-

habis itu kan dari suramadu langnsung cao ke bandara.

nah itu waktunya mepeeeeeeeeeet banget udah hampir telat

mana diperjalanan yang kurang lebiuh satu setengah jam itu gue kebelet pipis kan

eeeh pas sampe di bandara gue mau pipis gak boleh, soalnya takut ketinggalan pesawat. eh ternyata pesawatnya delay. eh terus diralat lagi, katanya pesawatnya gajadi delay

gue mai jijn pipis jadi gaboleh lagi.

lari-lari kan itu sambil kebelet gua. sampe pas mau masuk pesawat tuh ada masalah lagi.

jadi kan pesawatnya itu diganti, nah Bu rita tuh jadi kepisah sendiri. terus akhirnya setelah di klarifikasi, akhirnya jadi sepesawat lagi deh

mana duduknya kan boleh milih, jadi gue azkadrianabil sepakat duduknya pas kayak pergi aja; gue sama nabil adrian sama azka. gue udah takut aja itu kan kalo ududknya ntar bareng si pak komite lagi, males banget-_-

nah pas udah masuk pesawat kan gue masih kebeeleeeeeeeeeetbanget pipis.

pas naek tangga ke pesawat, tiba tiba kan pada nyium bau gaenak. gua kira si bapak komite tuh yang kentut, soalnya dia berdiri di depan gue, ternyata bukan dia yang kentut, tapi malah si Nabil-_-

terus kan akhirnya nyari tempat duduk. gue akhirnya sama nabil terus si azka sama adrian smaa orang gak dikenal

kita nyari tempatnya yang paling belakang supaya deket toilet kan-_-'

nah gue kan gamau pas take off masih kebelet, soalnya takut ngompol.

eh tapi sama pramugarinya dibilang kalo kita gaboleh pipis sebelum take off. mampus kan. jadi mesti nunggu terbang dulu baru pipis. padahal itu nahannya udah berapa jam coba

gue gelisah parah mana di cak-cakin, dibikn ketawa jadi tambah kebelet

terus setelah lamaaaaaaaabgt akhirnya gue pipis HAHAHAHA

terus sepanjang perjalanan gue azkadrianabil ngebacain daftar nama peserta terus ngomongin Holong lagi-_-

terus akhirnya kan sampe deh di bandara, pada ngelawakin tempat ngambil baggage gitu

teus pulangnya pada misah-misah. azka ikut mobil sekolah, Nabil dijemput, gue dijemput, terus si adrian nebeng gue deh

Well that was such an unforgettable moments. a lesson and experience that you can't buy and that opportunity don't come that easy

Thanks for the great-three-days National Science camp 2011, my new friends(Y)

thanks for 4tangsel, we're doing awsome-Azka,Adrian,Nabil (Y)(Y), bu wiwin pak heru, tante Rita(Y) and everyone

really, miss those moments already

oke foto aib-_-

2010-12-13T17:43:00.002+07:00

A true trove won't be found in a pirate's big ship, carved with golds and bonze
A true treasure won't be a worthy diamond ring
You won't need a map to find those trove to find a treasure on the bottom of the sea
A true yet eternal trove will only be a thing called 'love'
and 'happiness' inside of you, and everyone around you

If I Could Change This World

2010-12-13T17:07:00.004+07:00

I'll stop all of wars in this world and destroy every kind of weapon and ammunition

Find some positive things that could be accepted by everybody in this whole world.

Give people an understanding that we are all the same. I mean, we're different but sustaining each other in some way

Make everybody smiles

I'll stop racialism and make people treat men and women FAIRLY

I'll melt those frozen hearts and build them a new-warm heart

I'll try to find another method of drugs or cosmetics testing, instead of using "animals & pet" as the tester!

Make all of children in this world could feel the warm taste of soup and delicious food

Provide a big yet comfortable house with a full and complete facilities for orphans and let them feel the beauty of this world even with their 'incomplete' family

Stop children for mocking the 'weak' one. We all know that kid hate it when people mock them

Stop parents or the older generation to underestimate the young generations!

Make people aware that what is important is "not what other people's opinions about you", but "what do you think about yourself". Starting from that, by knowing yourself, you'll know what things that you should fix from you

Stop harassment against kids

All people are open-minded. Because when you're broad-minded, you can reach everything

I'll make everything powered by the sun. As the effects, no more heavy pollution on air, land and water

Make all people drop litter on the provided place!

Make sure that no one would be harmed because of their believes or religions

Stop children under ages from working

Make every single citizens could read, write and speak properly

Re-plant trees and forest in a massive number!

Raise teacher's salary! They're this world's key! Every single successful person started their formal learning process with teachers!

make a peaceful condition every single debate, solve the problems without fights

patch hole in ozone layer so the heat will not kill us and our future generations

Make every family, and the family members love each other. and let the other know about that feeling

Make all people listen more to other

No gangs. No one will be left behind. everybody are friends, with no wall between each of them

Make all of our 'beloved' person who had gone to come back. even just for a day

Hate. Hating. Loving

2010-12-10T19:12:00.003+07:00

Aloha!
Writing is boring. Thinking is so much fun!
again, i'm going to post some of my random madness(red:thought)

Have you ever feel something like 'you hate a thing so much' and it's hard to 'like' it?
Well. i considered it as a normal thing.

Actually, if, you take a look deep down to your heart, you lied when you say "i just hate it! No reason!"
I believe you have some reasons, IF, you're honest to yourself.or, you don't know the reasons why you hate that thing

If you don't know what's your 'hating' reasons, maybe you need to figure it out

first posibility: jealousy.
Maybe you hate that thing because you can't do it or you don't have it. deep inside your heart you want it, but your ego don't wanna show that 'you want it'
as the effect, you started to hate that thing

second posibility: it disturbed you. your health, your relationships or whatever about you
However, if you're 'disturbed' by that thing, it means that you have some other reasons

third posibilty: Trauma. Bad impression. Terrible memories.
you have bad memories about it. for example, that 'thing' made you stressed out till you got depressed. or, that thing destroyed your relationship with your friend
Even tough your problem had already finished but still, you hate that thing for ever ruined your life

This long-term 'hatery' is kinda normal. but still, we should be able to control that hatery, even tough it's hard.

Think from the other side.

If you hate a thing as the effect of jealousy.
think clearly once again.
why do you need to hate it? envy? No need to be that lame. Make yourself motivated! try to better than the on that you hate.
Or, if you hate things that you don't have, just
be thankful.
thank god for having what belongs to you. maybe you have better things, right?

AND

how,

if you hate things as the effects of personal things? such as trauma or bad memories?
well. everybody has their own 'favourite' and 'dislikes'
it's a matter of taste.

Maybe you hate things that most people love.
So. you don't need to influence people to think the same as you. be yourself.
you don't need to make bad-fake rumors to make people dislike things that you hate
Once again, it's 'taste' okay?!

if you hate it, just hate it
however,
i suggested you all to try to love 'things that you hate' ;p

why?

hating something will makes you tired one day. believe me
hating something brought you no benefits. so? what's the use of keeping unbeneficial habit?
hating may disturbed others. whether you realize it or not, some people will dislikes you for 'hating' things that they love.
Some will also feel unrespected, because you hate things that they like
Lastly, once again, everybody has their own different taste ;)

BUT HOW if you can't stop hating it?

just respect other for loving things that you hate, no need to mock them
avoid looking on things that you hate because it'll only ruins your mood
keep trying to love things that you hate
maybe, when you try to love it, you'll find it interesting!

Competition

2010-12-10T18:58:00.001+07:00

it'd been a long time for a hibernation and here's me! A big bear (i'd prefer called as cat) who owned this bloggy!
Just informing, there are too many things that happened in my life, life lessons that i've taken and stories that inspired me. however i can't write it all here (yea, laziness attacks me till now)
BUT
I'll still post some of those life's precious here.

(Some) previous weeks ago, i joined English Competition-Debate and speech and to be honest, those competition didn't go that smooth. Some 'problems' attacked us (especially me) and once again, i got some lessons from my ordinary-cruel life.

To explain it in the simple way, the problem is: i got trouble because i won. i got trouble because 'light' shines me that time while everbody wants that 'light'.

Take a look around us now, people started to let their ego drove them. People want to gain their own pride, no matter what it takes, without caring about other. Everybody wants to win.

Admit it, yes, everbody wants to win and competition is something that we can't stop. Life's a competition, isn't it?

Tapi yang bikin gue bingung itu,
segitu obsessed kah orang-orang sekarang ini? Kenapa sekarang semua hal dipermasalahin? Semua mentingin egonya?
Segitu besarkah keinginan mereka buat jadi yang "pertama"? sampe-sampe gak kenal kata 'fellow' atau 'teman'?
Segitu pengennya mereka dianggep baik sampe-sampe ngejatuhin orang lain?
Segitu ketatkah persaingan sampe-sampe orang cuma bisa ngeliat 'kejelekan' seseorang, bukan kebaikannya?

That's what happened in this universe.

Hampir semua hal sekarang ini dijadiin kompetisi, saing-saingan.
Tinggi-tinggian nilai, cantik-cantikan, kaya-kaya an, sampe followers di twitter aja di tanding-tandingin, banyak-banyakan gitu-_-
Okelah, emang ada beberapa hal yang penting buat di tandingin, di persaingkan, kayak nilai atau bakat. Dengan harapan, kita jadi terpacu untuk lebih baik tiap harinya.
Tapi sisanya, hal-hal gak penting kayak friends di facebook atau followers di networking sites itu gak penting kan buat di adu in atau dibanding-bandingin?

Selain itu, kompetisi itu ada bukan dengan tujuan bikin kita jadi 'over-obsessed', harusnya kompetisi atau persaingan itu ada supaya kita terus terpacu, termotivasi, supaya ngikutin jejak 'bagus' orang-orang itu. Jadi gini loh, kompetisi itu ada bukan untuk dimenangin, tapi untuk dipelajari.
Gak penting kita menang atau kalah dalam kompetisi, apapun itu kompetisinya. Yang penting kita bisa belajar dari orang-orang yang ada terus ngikutin yang baik-baiknya (tapi bukan berati imitating juga).
Dengan kita belajar di kompetisi atau persaingan itu, kita juga udah jadi pemenang kok.

Jadi, jangan jadiin persaingan atau kompetisi itu sbg tekanan buat kita. Kita boleh kok berusaha jadi yg terbaik, boleh kok berharap untuk menang, tapi jangan jadiin itu tekanan yang harus kita capai.
Soalnya, kalau persaingan itu udah kita jadiin 'pressure' , kita akan makin obsessed untuk menang, tanpa mikir panjang lagi; gapeduli apa yg harus kita lakuin yg penting menang.
Kita jadi ngehalalin semua cara untuk menang,
ngejatuhin orang gapeduli dia siapa kita,
jadi negative thinking terus sama orang, dan ngabaikan semua kebaikan orang- yg kita inget cuma kejelekannya.

If we look on this world now, many terrible 'life-rules' applied now.

dan life-rules itu lah yang bikin persaingan itu jadi parah sekarang ini

To survive in this stage, we should be seen, we should be known. And to be known or seen, we need to shine as bright as we can.
If we don't, no one will looks at us, and if we're invisible, we can do nothing.

Kalo kita gak jadi yang "terbaik" yang paling "wah", kita gak akan di anggep sekarang; di dunia yg keras ini.

Honestly, i never like that life-rule. however, i can't stop that.

Mau gak mau sekarang ini, di hidup yg keras, era persaingan yg ketat ini,kita mesti usaha terus supaya survive dan dapetin yang kita mau. yaa mau gak mau terjadilah persaingan itu.

Sedih ya, karna hukum-alam itu, orang jadi saling menjatuhkan, mentingin ego dan pride sendiri-sendiri. orang jadi gak mau bersahabat lagi satu sama lain. kalau ada yang sahabatanpun, pasti adaaaaaaaaaa aja yang berteman untuk 'maksud' tertentu

It's hard to make things right again while they're broken already.

From me, i hope that this world will become better with the help of competition's effects. Everyone will try to be the best on his/her way.
Also, this world will be great if everyone play 'fairly' in every single competition
No need to be over-obsessed while reaching your goals. Believe me, god will shows you the best way if you play 'fairly'

Shine as bright as you can.
You don't need to shine the faraway land. Shine on the place where you belong to be.

P.W.

Self-Advice

2010-10-08T17:15:00.000+07:00

When everybody tells me nothing
when everybody keeps telling me lies and bullshit
There's nothing that we can do except be patient :)
Don't take a revenge on them, don't do the same thing like what they did
because if you do so,
you're not more than the biggest loser ever

love is not having them on our side
love is not about saying 'i love you' or those beautiful words
It's about looking them in the right way. it's about choosing the best for them.
yes, looking on their happy face
not more than that :)

a matter of common things

2010-09-24T20:44:00.004+07:00

Oke ini yang mau gue post itu hal yang 'common' apalagi buat kalangan anak sekolahan. Deket banget sama kata-kata 'sekolah'

Gak banyak yang suka sekolah jaman sekarang. Gak usah munafik, gue juga kok -__-" Kenapa? Soalnya sekolah sekarang tuh ngebosenin. belom lagi tugas-tugas, target-target, bacotan orangtua lah, belom lagi capeknya sekolah. Gak jarang orang-orang bisa tertekan gara-gara sekolah.

Every parents wants the best for their child

Pasti lah. Mereka mau anaknya sukses, masa depannya cerah dan pastinya bahagia.

Makanya sedini apapun mereka mulai ngelakuin usaha-usaha yang bisa ngebantu anaknya untuk dapetin 'yang terbaik'

Sama hal nya kayak urusan sekolah. Orang tua nyekolahin anaknya supaya pinter. supaya sukses. sayangnya, pinter itu sekarang ini tolak ukurnya lebih banyaak (sebagian besar) 'nilai' 'nilai' 'nilai'

Selalu diliat dari nilai

Makanya gak jarang orangtua nyuruh, nuntut, mau bahkan sampe maksa anaknya supaya dapet nilai bagus lah, ranking lah atau segala macem yang berhubungan sama 'menang' dan 'paling hebat'

Hal 'dorongan' (red: paksaan secara gak langsung) ini yang kadang malah bikin anak-anak jadi stres. tertekan. Yang dipaksa ranking terus, belajar terus-terusan, ikutan lomba dan lain lain.

Akhirnya, ujung ujung nya anak itu bisa stres sendiri. gajadi sukses kan(?)

Stres disini dampakanya bisa macem-macem.

Kemungkinan pertama, si anak bakal belajar terus sekuat tenaga. sukur sukur kalo mampu dan akhirnya jadi. walau dengan tekanan

Kemungkinan kedua, si anak bisa jadi stres, benci sekolah, benci orang tuanya dan malah jadi tambah males belajar. bodoamat sama omelan orangtua nya

Kemungkinan ketiga,si anak niatnya sih baik mau banggain orangtuanya. mau bikin orangtuanya seneng, puas. akhirnya dia berusaha keras supaya dapet nilai bagus. udah belajar juga tetep gak nyantol karna tertekan, akhirnya dia milih jalan 'pintas'

Ngelakuin apapun demi nilai. nilai nilai. apapun caranya apa itu nyontek openbook diskusi lah pokoknya nilai bagus, orangtua happy.

Udah melenceng kan kalo udah sampe ke kemungkinan dua dan tiga

liat dari keinginan orangtua awalnya beda kan--> dia mau kita sukses, smart. tapi ya mereka juga suka salah, ngukurnya dari nilai. jadinya ya............gitu

padahal kan semua semua gak cuma diliat dari nilai

Gak jarang anak yang pusing mampus mikirin sekolah. Plus tekanan orangtuanya.

Yakin deh banyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakbanget orangtua yang ngelakuin 'dorongan' itu ke anak-anaknya. bahkan sampe maksa.

Belajar terus belajar terus. maen dikit dimarahin.

Apa emang belajar mantengin buku, melototin catetan, berjam-jam sehari, bisa bikin anak-anak itu pinter? belom tentu.
Tiap orang itu beda-beda. kita itu indvidu yang satu sama lainnya gak mungkin sama. tiap orang punya caranya sendiri-sendiri untuk ngelakuin banyak hal. dan orang lain gak bisa maksa kita untuk ngikutin cara orang lain.
soalnya ya itu, tiap orang beda beda

mungkin ada orang yang dengan belajar tiap hari berjam-jam, ngerangkum semua pelajaran, bisa jadi pinter

tapi kalo menurut gue sendiri, gak sedikit juga orang yang kalo belajar itu gak bisa dipaksa.

kalo dipaksa belajar malah gabakal nyantol.

gak dapet apa apa.

melototin buku lama sia-sia tanpa hasil. buang-buang waktu jadinya.

gue bakal belajar kalo emang gue rasa gue butuh belajar.

kalo timbul keinginan dari diri gue sendiri, kalo ada mood.

gak perlu disuruhpun gue belajar sendiri, dan jadinya nyantol di otak.

dari dua perbedaan di atas aja udah bisa diliat kalo tiap orang itu beda beda.

Tapi ya..................maaf aja

orangtua itu suka kurang open-minded.

mereka masih mikir kalo metode yang 'berhasil' di diri mereka 'pasti' akan berhasil di anak mereka.

makanya mereka total terapin metode 'sukses' mereka ke anak-anaknya.

padahal ya, walaupun anak dan orangtua itu dari satu garis keturunan yang sama,punya inti yang sama, tapi tetep aja orangtua dan anaknya itu individu yang berbeda.

mungkin aja anaknya punya caranya sendiri supaya bisa pinter kek,sukses kek. dan itu mungkin gak sama kayak orangtuanya.

atau ya tolong kek orangtua liat bener-bener ke mana minat anaknya.

kalo kira-kira minatnya bukan di bidang akademis, buat apa susah payah maksain anaknya untuk masuk ke minat akademis?

siapatau di bidang laen,misalnya seni anaknya bisa lebih bahagia,menonjol, dan mungkin aja lebih sukses?

Soalnya sukses itu bakal kita temuin di hal-hal yang udah jadi passion kita;yang kita suka.
Bukan di hal yang mati-matian kita kejar padahal itu bukan passion kita

Jadi balik lagi

Coba aja orangtua bisa lebih ngertiin anaknya, gimana perasaan anaknya yang tertekan sama tuntutan-tuntutannya yang kadang suka berlebihan. iya sih mungkin awal niat orang tua mendorong itu baik. tapi kadang berlebihan

Kalo tuntutan atau paksaan untuk selalu jadi yang 'nomer satu' itu gak diilangin, apa yang akan anak-anak dapet dari sekolah, selain main dan nilai?

Gini deh. orangtua kan maunya nilai kita bagus, akhirnya gak jarang kita jadi nyontek lah, kerjasama lah supaya nilai kita bagus. kita gak terlalu mentingin apa kita bener bener mendalami pelajaran itu, apa kita bener- bener bisa dapat hal yang bermanfaat dari ilmu pengetahuan itu, kita gak bisa nikmatin indahnya ilmu pengetahuan, karna di forsir untuk nilai doang.

jadi fokus sekolah itu 'nilai untuk orangtua'

'bukan ilmu buat gue'

Padahal sebenernya apa guna nilai kalo kita gak dapet apa-apa?

sebenernya mendingan nilai jelek pas ulangan, tapi setelah kita ngelkuin kesalahan di ulangan itu kita jadi inget terus ilmu-ilmu itu

sebenernya itu yang penting

Makanya gue suka banget kalo ada guru yang gak terlalu mentingin nilai, yang penting muridnya nangkep dan ngerti

coba aja semua orangtua bisa gitu

anak pasti bisa lebih nikmatin sekolah tanpa ada beban ngejar nilai

Balik lagi ke masalah pemaksaan orangtua.

kalo emang kita mulai ngerasa tertekan, dan mulai ngerasa beljar kita itu untuk 'nilai'

mestinya kita mulai ngomong ke orangtua kita. kalo kita gak kuat dengan tuntutannya untuk selalu jadi yang paling atas.

bilang ke mereka kalo cara mereka maksa itu gak enak. metode mereka yang nyruruh -nyuruh kita belajar tiap waktu itu gak cocok buat kita. ungkapin ke mereka mau kita gimana, metode yang cocok buat kita gimana

bilang ke mereka, kalo kita, anak itu beda dari mereka;orangtua.

tiap orang beda dan punya jalannya sendiri sendiri

kita gak mau cuma jadi robot orangtua kita, yang harus menuhi semua tuntutan mereka

kita gak mau cuma jadi pantulan diri dari orangtua kita.

kita mau jadi diri kita sendiri.

kita bisa kok jadi orang sukses, baik, cemerlang dengan cara kita sendiri

kita udah cukup gede untuk nentuin jalan mana yang harus kita pilih. meski kita yang milih, orangtua juga tetep berperan buat membimbing, bukan ngatur atau maksa lagi

kesannya jagoan banget kan kalo ngomong gitu ke orang tua?

ya mau gimana lagi?

pilih tertekan seumur hidup, orangtua gatau perasaan kita, stres pada akhirnya, dan mereka bahagia dibalik 'kebohongan' kita?

atau

bilang dari sekarang gimana mau dan perasaan kita, walau terkesan nge sok tapi kita bisa bahagia dan nemuin titik terang pada akhirnya? dan sukur-sukur akhirnya orangtuapun ngertiiin kita dan kita bisa bikin mereka bahagia juga

yang kedua lah pasti.

supaya gak kelihatan durhaka atau 'gaya' banget, coba ngomong ke orangtua pelan-pelan,secara halus, sopan, supaya mereka simpati sama akita dan ujung-ujungnnya mikir gimana perasaan kita

kalo udah sopan baik tetep aja mereka nganggep kita nge bangkang,sok tua,gimana? biarin aja. toh dengan ngungkapin perasaan lo gitu,lo bisa lebih lega kan? emosi yang kependam keluar semua.

orangtua nampar lo? balik marah berapi-api sama lo? sabar aja. tetep stay cool dan bilang 'cuma mau nyampein perasaan kok. coba sekali-sekali pikirin. maaf kalo aku igini tapi aku ya aku'

semarah-marahnya orangtua lo saat lo ngomong itu, pasti nantinya,suatu saat, dia bakal kepikiran sama omongan lo. 'apa bener ya kata anak gue?'
'apa mungkin itu lebih baik buat dia?'

yakin deh pasti mereka bakal mikir kok. gitulah orangtua, karna mereka sayang anaknya. semarah apapun mereka

makanya dibutuhin komunikasi antar anak dan orangtua itu,supaya enak, gaada yang tertekan

JADI

setelah baca post ini, kalo lo merasa tertekan dengan cara orangtua lo maksa lo jadi apa yang mereka mau tanpa mikirin kitanya

coba pikir ulang.

mungkin ada baiknya lo mulai ngobrol sama orangtua lo tentang mau lo, metode yang cocok sama lo dan yang terbaik buat lo. minta saran, dan pengertian mereka. secara baik-baik

mending ngomong sekarang daripada telat dan orangtua lo gapernah tau perasaan lo sebenernya.

mending ngomong sekarang, daripada nanti, lo terlanjur ngejalanin semua mau orangtua lo,

lo sukses tapi gak bahagia. dan ujung-ujungnya lo benci sama orang yang seharusnya paling lo sayang

kalo lo ngomong dari sekarang, siapa tau orangtua lo bisa ngerti, apa mau lo, ngebiarin sekaligus bimbing lo ke jalan yang lo mau, sukses nantinya, dan lo akan berterimakasih sama orangtua lo

Terakhir(lagi)
Kejar ilmu,bukan nilai
yang tertulis itu kadang palsu,yang nyata itu lebih penting

ngapain lo selalu jadi nomer satu kalo sebenernya apa yang orangtua lo liat itu,victory itu palsu. kebohongan.

banggain semua orang dengan hal-hal yang real dan dengan jadi diri lo sendiri

lalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sway

2010-09-16T13:55:00.003+07:00

I'm too perplexed with my own life. My life is such a mysterious puzzle.
I'm too afraid to step, to take chances that come to me, because i'm too fragile.

I'm too frightened to leave and lose my own happiness, my beautiful life, my comfort zone and my everything. In fact sometimes we should take some chances, try for new things, and walk away from our comfort zone, to go to our next phase of our life.

But now, and in fact, it's me.
This is me, with my imperfections.
I'm too baffled about which step should I take for my future,my prospects.
And I'm afraid of the risks or consequences that I should bear.

Actually, god has designed this life,this world, in the most perfect condition. Also, god won't create things that we can't handle.
God won't gives us burden. God gives us test, appraisal, so that we can learn and learn each day. Not burdens.
So be sure that everything that come to us has their own way to be solved. We just need extra time to think.

This is life. We will get answers for each questions that cirlce our mind
We will find a way to solve each problem hat we have
We will find a light in every darkness
We will find love in hatred and wars
We will find what we want at the end
We don't need to be mad at ourself, thinking about how would our life would be.
In time we will know how to deal with it. Just do some efforts,pray and wait.
Wait with patience, and smiles

Just walk steadily in this awkward life,
Be confident to take every steps in our life,
Do everything with our best efforts, try to do the best for everyone

Naturally it'll give you the right answer.just let it flow

Destroy something beautiful.
It’s a lesson worth learning. It’s painful. But it will open new roads to your personal growth.
(My dearest Gabriel E. Saporta)

about the title; i wrote this when i'm heading back to my home, from bandung, and i listened to the song 'sway' from the pussycat dolls when i wrote this.
right after i finished this post, i threw up(Y)

p.s. LOVE GABE'S 'SERIOUS' TUMBLR!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him more each day! (but i love my bf more than him :p)

You and I

2010-09-03T11:44:00.000+07:00

Kalo aku gak sayang kamu
Aku mungkin gak akan tau gimana hati yang tulus, indahnya setia, nyamannya saling menjaga, dan semua hal indah yang kita pernah alamin

Mungkin,pasti
Banyak cara-cara yang salah, hal yang nyakitin, pencetus jenuh,
Tapi dibalik marahku,ngambekku, keselku, atau semua yang kulakuin,
Itu cara caraku untuk buktiin

Gak ada yang lain di hati ku sekarang ini
Gak ada sedikitpun maksud untuk nyakitin kamu

Hati aku, sekarang, buat kamu (yaa selain tuhan keluarga teman dan sejenisnya)
Hati aku, rindu aku, buat kamu

Emang, gak mungkin semua yang kukasih bisa nyenengin kamu,berarti buat kamu, gak mungkin yang kukasih itu selalu jadi yang terbaik
Tapi seenggaknya itu dari hatiku yg terbaik

tapi aku akan tetep selalu usaha
Aku gak akan pernah nyesel,
Walau aku udh jatuh berkali kali
Walau aku udh hampir nyerah
Walau aku hampir capek
Tapi aku

Gak akan nyesel sama pilihanku ke kamu
Soalnya aku yakin, hati aku gak bakal salah milih kok
Hatiku tau yang terbaik
Hatiku yang buat aku bisa berdiri sampe sekarang ini
Hatiku salah satunya tersimpan di dirimu :)

Life Things

2010-09-01T20:51:00.001+07:00

Life is too unpredictable
Life is too complicated
Life is surronded by too much mystery
Life is too short
Life is too meaningful

Kadang gue suka mikir, hal hal yang sebenernya gak biasa itu mungkin bisa terjadi kapan aja sama gue
Kadang gue juga mikir, terlalu banyak hal yang mesti gue inget, gue urus, gue pikirin,dan jadinya semua itu complicated
Kadang gue sadar banget kalo di hidup ini terlalu banyak hal yang gak gue tau, gak gue sadari, tersembunyi dari gue,mungkin untuk selamanya
Kadang gue coba bayangin, dan sadar, kalo hidup itu pendek banget. Gak terduga, penuh rahasia alam
Dan satu lagi, bukan kadang, tapi selalu, gue mikir dan sadar bahwa hidup gue itu berarti banget. Karna hidup gue sekarang berpengaruh di kehidupan gue yang nanti.

Out of those sentences.
Kadang gue suka mikir. Gue itu sekarang itu manusia yang gimana? Jadi apa gue nanti? Gimana pendapat orang tentang gue? Gimana akhir hidup gue? Apa hal yang blm gue tau? Dan sebagainya
Bingung sendiri jadinya.

Lari lagi.
Gue ngeliat kehidupan sekarang ini jadi prihatin kalo dipikir pikir. Hidup gue sendiri, ataupun hidup orang lain. Sama aja. No offense okay
Gue suka ngerasa bersalah sendiri.malu.

Gue disini hidup enak enakan, seneng seneng, dapetin apapun yang gue mau. yaa walau gak semua yg gue mau bisa gue dapet, at least hal hal penting dan berharga itu udh gue dapetin;
fisik yg sempurna walau gak seindah yang gue mau,
akal yang berjalan meski gak secemerlang impian gue,
hidup yang lengkap, meski gak se sempurna yang g gue liat di buku cerita,
dan hati yang besar, walau gak sebesar hati para orang orang sabar,
kasih sayang dari banyak orang, meski sebenernya gue pengen dapet kasih sayang itu dari semua orang.
Tapi kalo diliat liat, semua itu cukup.
Gue masih nafas,sehat,berperasaan,ber akal.

Selain itu gue juga bisa dengan mudah nya dapet kesenangan dunia. Gue mau makan enak, dikasih. Mau beli ini itu, ngerengek dikit, dikasih
Gue berdoa ke tuhan dikabulin, gue minta maaf dimaafin.
Gue jadi mikir, betapa manjanya semua manusia di dunia ini? Dimanjain sama tuhan, dan komponen lain yang tuhan ciptakan

Kadang kalau lagi mellow, gue suka mikir
Apa jadinya kalo gue udah gak dimanjain lagi?
Jawaban gue; gue gak tau akan gimana.

Gimana kalau hal hal gak terduga dateng?
Gimana kalau kekacauan dateng ke hidup gue,sampe otak gue buntu cari jalan keluarnya?
Gimana kalau waktu gue udah abis?
Gimana kalau kenikmatan gue diambil semua?
Gimana kalau orang yang sayang sama gue ilang tiba tiba?

Gue mikir. Lagi. Jangan sampe terjadi sih. Tapi namanya manusia,harus merenung juga.

Gimana kalau tiba tiba orang tua gue bankrupt?dan gue harus relain semua enak enakan gue, santai santai gue
Gimana kalau tiba tiba gue kena robohan rumah gue sendiri, yang digoncang gempa?
Gimana kalau orang orang yg sayng gue dan gue sayang tiba tiba pergi untuk selamanya?
Gimana kalo umur gue tinggal sebentar? Dan gue gak tau sebentar itu samapi kapan
Gimana kalo kesehatan gue udah diambil sama tuhan?
Gimana kalau tuhan bilang hidup gue udah selesai?

Kalau diliat,sebenernya gue itu takabur banget sekarang.
Gue enak enakan tiap hari, ngabisin duit orang tua gue buat hal yang sebenernya gak terlalu dibutuhin, nyia nyian kasih sayang gue buat orang, mengabaikan nasehat sama kata kata orang, hidup semau gue
Tanpa mikir, kalau hal hal buruk yg gue tulis taadi itu bisa terjadi kapan aja.
Gak diduga.

Gila kan manusia
Kurang enak apa coba semua udah dikasih. Udah semua dikasih juga masih mau lagi dan lagi. Sombong. Takabur. Gak mikirin kemungkinan kemungkinan gak terduga.
Dimanjain.

Gue sadar gue bukan orang yang sempurna. Gue sadar banget nanti, suatu saat, gue bakal lupa sama apa yg gue tulis disini dan takabur lagi
Gue sadar gue banyak banget salahnya
Tapi seengaknya sekarang ini,saat gue nulis, gua masih pernah sadar akan hal hal tadi.
Gue masih mikir.

Ah gila ah
Gua gabisa bayangin kalau tiba tiba gue divonis berumur pendek.
Padahal gue tau banget gue belum jadi apa apa. belum bs banggain orang tua gue, berterima kasih atas semuanya. Balas jasa mereka atas apapun yg mereka kasih.
Belum bs menghargai semua yg org kasih buat gue
Blm bisa bahagian semua org, ataupun jd org yang berguna.
Belom bisa berterimakasih sama tuhan atas terlalu banyak hal yg Ia kasih.
Belom bisa buat hidup gue berharga.
Belom bisa apa apa.

Jadi gue mikir lagi. Sadar.
Semua hal, baik buruk, mungkin gak mungkin, terduga atau nggak, itu bisa terjadi.
Kapan aja, dimana aja.
Jadi gue gak boleh takabur, gak boleh ngerepotin orang orang, harus berterimakasih, jadi orang yang berguna, jadi orang yang tau diri, gak egois. Gak enak enakan terus.

Kadang kita harus mikir dari sudut pandang orang lai, dan ngerasain susahnya hidup orang orang diluar sana, yang mungkin
kelaperan,kesusahan, kesakitan,dan lain lain.
Kita harus tau diri, dan bersyukuuuur banget karna tuhan dan semua org masih sayang sama kita, walau cara mereka nunjukin rasa sayang nya itu beda beda, dan kadang tanpa disadarin.

Life is too complicated ha

Oke maklumin aja bahasa gue lagi berlebihan gini -__-"

what i want will never happen :)

2010-07-28T18:32:00.002+07:00

People will always want what other's have, while what that people have is also wanted by others.
Amazing. that's reality.
Dan harus gue akui, gue termasuk korban kenyataan itu. Korban parah malah.

This is the opening paragraph for my previous blog post. well yes, i out these words again. because this post will be about that stupid fact about human. again.

there are many things that i really wanna do, but in fact i can't make it. there are lot of things that i have, that people do, that really makes me wanna do that so. sometimes.
here are some of my 'if' wishes sentences:

1. i wish i could blame on the people that blamed me, then yell as loud as i can when i'm mad at them, and scream that i hate what they've done to me.

2. I wish i could run and shout 'i don't care' when someone's mad at me, close my ears when people criticize me, and stick my tounge out when people forbid me to do something

3. i wish i could bang my door until it's broken, throw everything that i see, punch everything that face me, when i'm stressed out

4. i wish i could spread some bad words from my mouth when i hate someone's act until they cry for the next two hours

5. i wish i could make my parents feel guilty when they don't fulfill what i want

6. i wish i could runaway from my house when i can't stand at my own house

7. i wish i could sneak out at night and hang out with my friends till the dawn

8. i wish i can try to smoke even tough i don't wanna be addicted, just try it once

9. i wish i couldn't stop laughing. doing all 'fun things' in my life without pause.

10. i wish i could run my own business NOW, getting my own money from it, without listening to what my parents said

11. i wish i could take a revenge to people that i hate, boys that desrted me, everyone that makes me fall

12. i wish i could reach ALL of my dreams and GET what i want

but in fact those are the things that i want. that's 'tara' that i always dream about.
in fact, the reality, that's not me. the real me will never be able to do those things

1. When people blame on me, there are so many words and sentences that tried to get out from my mouth and my mind. i really wanna blame them back, tell what i feel, what i think.
- Because not all the things that showed up in our mind are good enough to be said. Sometimes silent is better than making everything even worse. Just be patient, and calm yourself, then think clearly. be optimistic that every bad things that happened to you will give you something better in the future

2. i always wait, and listen to people when they're mad at me or when they make me down. i can't say 'i don't care' or close my ears when they talk. because i always care, or in case, i care too much about what people said to me, about me. even sometimes it make me down because i always think that everything's my fault.
- but i realized that what people said, is such a precious for me. from those sentences that came from others for me, about me, although it's hurting, it will help me to stand and walk even better than before

3. i always cry when i'm mad at someone. i always keep crying with no voice, locked myself in the room alone, and regreting myself for hating others. kinda freak huh -_-
- although i often think that banging door and throwing things when i'm angry is cool and relaxing, i realized that it's useless. it'll only bring you another problem---you lost your thing because you broke it -__- it'll waste your money $_$

4. you know, if i want to spread my bad words outta my mouth, my mouth is even more dangerous that other's. my words are even more evil than other mean girls. but in fact when i hate other's act, i only said that 'i hate it' in a soft way, and even sometimes i just shut my mouth.
- yes, just like what i've mentioned, sometimes silent is better that lead you to another trouble. just BE PATIENT.
p.s. kalo ngomong kata kata kasar juga adanya nambahin dosa ke diri sendiri kan -_- padahal tadinya udah gak dosa tuh gara gara disakiti hatinya oleh orang laen. eeeh gara gara ngomong kata kata kotor dosanya jadi buat kita deh -_- makanya mending diem aja daripada menghasilkan dosa lalalala

5. i can't make them feel guilty. i always think that i'm the guilty one. yeah my parents glad that i have that characteristic -_- at the end i always think that i'm wrong,then i started to follow what they want
- because sometimes it feels like it's all my mistake. yes, just make your parents happy. that's the most simple-worthed thing

6. I NEVER DO THIS.
-Because when i think about it for the nexttttttttttt time, it's kinda stupid action. where will i stay if i run away? how can i survive alone? how can i let my stomach growling because of hungry -__- and yeah making my parent worried is such an unwarranted stupid thing.

7. this is only my stupid dreams that never come true.
-sneaking out is kinda 'impossible thing' for me. because 1) i don't know how can i escape 2) i don't have money to bring because i always get it from my parents -_- 3) i must be sleepy 4) i can't lie to my parents and i don't wanna make them worried

8. IN FACT, i hate cigarette so much and i'm kinda llergic with cigarette's smoke. i can't stand with it
- also i realized that cigarette,especially the smoke were dangerous,VERY dangerous. it had killed too many people. i don't wanna be the next murederer or the next lung cancer victim. also, i can spend my money for another useful great things then using it for cigarette

9. i stop laughing so fast.
-because some people said, laughing too much will bring you lot of sadness. and also it decreases your intelligence. no offense, this is true and i don't like it

10. i used to run my own business and i think my parents were right.
- when you work, running your own business, you'll forget anything else because money surronded you. you'll be too excited with money so that you can't focused to another thing. while you're still young, just ask some money from your parents although it'll never be enough. just thank god for it

11. i always had a plan for taking a revenge in my evil-side mind. but when that 'evil revenge' plan is ready, i can't do it. i'm just too fragile to hurt people by taking revenge
- only a fool who take a revenge. revenge is a stupid way to express your emotion. do not revenge. be nice too everybody. don't make people feel bad things that you feel

12. me, people,will never be able to get what i, we, wnat, because life is full of challange, happiness, effort, test, and bad lessons. to get success, to get the eternal happiness on the next life, we should be patient in recieving tasks that god make. to get succeed, we should start from zero, jump and fall, cry and laugh, teach and learn. when we mastered everyhting, than it's our glory.

So yes, these are some of my 'real me' and 'alter ego'.
human will never feel statisfeid. although they already have (almost) everything.
that's normal and it's a must.
because life is about to find the best
thanks god for everything we have, no matter how bittersweet it is.

to get succeed, we should start from zero, jump and fall, cry and laugh, teach and learn. when we mastered everyhting, than it's our glory.

appreciation

2010-07-28T17:58:00.003+07:00

Sekali lagi gua bilang manusia itu gak pernah puas.
Dan mungkin emang kenyataan ini gak akan pernah berubah.

People will always want what other's have, while what that people have is also wanted by others.
Amazing. that's reality.
Dan harus gue akui, gue termasuk korban kenyataan itu. Korban parah malah.

Jadi, hari ini, lagi dan lagi, untuk kesekian kali nya, gue diceramahin sama nyokap, tentang hal yang sering banget diulang ulang sebelomnya.
Katanya gue itu main terus lah, gapernah belajar, online mulu, ngabisin duit terus, ngerepotin doang, pemales lagi.
yaaa harus gue akui kadang-kadang(sering deng) statement bacotan dia itu lumayan banyak benernya.
Tapi ya ampun. bisa gak sih sekali sekali liat gue dari baiknya. keburukan melulu yang diliat. kalo mau ngritik orang, itu harus seimbang kan, gak cuma ngeliat dari kejelekannya doang, tapi juga dari kebaikannya!
Itu mungkin salah satu dari banyak masalah terbesar gue.
Gue pengen orangtua gue gak cuma ngeliat gue dari jeleknya aja. segitu burukkah gue sampe di ceramahin melulu

I need, i really need appreciation.

Kadang gue suka mikir, capek sendiri. Suka kesel, dan berandai andai kalo gue dilahirkan dair orangtua yang laen. yaa atau orang tua yang sama tapi dengan karakter yang berbeda.
Mungkin mereka bakal ngasih gue selamat kalo gue ranking terus terusan. mungkin mereka bakal ngasih surprise buat gue karna gue udah dapet nilai yang 'membanggakan'
Mungkin mereka bakal ngebiarin gue ngelakuin, ngedapetin, apa yang gue mau kalo gue bersikap baik selalu, pinter, nurut sama orang tua
Mungkin kalo gua menang lomba tingkat apakek, mereka bakal ngasih gua selamat, hadiah, dan ngebanggain gue ke temen temennya, atau keluarganya.
mungkin kalo gue dapet nilai 10 mereka bakal senyum ke gue dan nawarin gue makanan kesukaan gue
mungkin kalo gue ngejelasin sesuatu mereka bakal dengerin pernyataan gue dan mau ngakuin kalo mereka salah
mungkin kalo gu punya pendapat yang beda sama mereka, mereka bakal diem dan dengerin dulu pendapat gue dan menimbang mana yang keputusan lebih baik
Mungkin kalo gua ngambek, mereka bakal ngebujuk gue untuk berenti ngambek
mungkin kalo mereka ngeliat gue diem terus, sedih, mereka bakal nanya gue kenapa
mungkin kalo gue melakukan perintah mereka 'tutupin pintu dong!', mereka bakal bilang 'makasih'
Mungkin,mungkin,mungkin,mungkin,mungkin,mungkin, GAK MUNGKIN.
Those 'if' sentences will never happen in my entire life. at least i'm still hoping until now.although i knew, i know, it wouldn't be true.

Ini salah satunya penyebab kenapa banyak orang gagal,putus asa dan males berjuang sekarang ini.
Ini penyebab kenapa banyak orang lebih banayk duduk diem daripada berlomba lomba supaya mengukir prestasi yang baik
Ini kenapa orang orang banayk males nyoba hal hal baru
malsah nya cuma satu. kurang dihargain. no appreciation.

Makanya banyak orang mikir

'mending gausah susah susah nemuin hal baru, toh kalo nemuin sesuatu yang baru dan bermanfaat juga gak di peduliin, gak dihargai'

'ngapain gue susah susah usaha, toh ujung ujungnya gak ada yang mau ngurus, gak ada yang bangga sama gue, gak ada yang menghargai kerja keras gue'

Dan kadang gue juga suka mikir gitu. buat apa gue berusaha banggain orang orang disekitar gue kalo ujung ujungnya mereka gak peduli? ujung ujungnya mereka juga gak menghargai atau bahkan nanggepin usaha gue
Tapi yaaaaaaa dari situ gue mikir
cukup gue, dan orang orang lain yang ngalamin hal yang sama kayak gue yang diperlakukan gitu. cukup kita aja yang gak ngedapetin appreciation dari orang lain.
gue gak boleh gitu. makanya gue selalu berusaha untuk menghargai usaha orang laen, sekecil apapun usaha orang itu.
karena gue tau, usaha itu pasti ada susah nya. ada pengorbanannya. dan pasti SAKIT banget kalo gak ada yang menghargai usaha kita.
makanya, mulai sekarang, hargain usaha orang lain. tanggepin lah minimal.
coba mulai deh dari hal hal kecil,
misalnya, berusaha untuk ketawa kalo ada temen kita yang ngelawak tapi 'jayus'. ketawa lah, walau cuma hehehe kecil. senuym deh minimal. gitu gitu kan pasti dia udah usaha untuk ngebuat lawakan yang tujuannya untuk bikin orang lain termasuk kita seneng. gak susah kok buat ngehargain orang lain itu.
hargain orang lain kalo mau dihargain.

reaching the end

2010-07-25T21:02:00.002+07:00

It's a sunny evening when a couple seats on the hospital's cafetaria. The eat in silence until the husband start to talk.

"My dearest wife, i don't know until when i will be sitting on this wheelchair. useless. i'm doing nothing now. i can't give even a thing for you,our children and everyone. i can't give you a thing except burden."

"Don't ever said that to me again! i don't want to hear that kinda hopeless words from your mouth because you're not the one that you've described!"

"I don't know. what can i do now? this illness is killing me. i'm only waiting for my time to go, you should know this.I don't have many time. My life is about to reach the end...."

"STOP TALKING!"

"THIS, is reality! we can't choose our way! reality is what we have to face! we can't hide! no matter how painful it is."

"but please don't talk this way. it's too...."

"bitter. yes i know. this is what i'm thinking about. i'm not ready for this.
I'm not done"

"please, don't think about this, just face it,what you have to worry is yourself!"

"NO! it's not me whom we should worry about! it's you! our children! my parents! all of the people i love! how could our children survive? how could they get a love from their father? how could they buy what they want? "

"darling......"

"How about you? who will protect you? who will work for you? my parents! how can i thank them for ever single thing that they've given, sacrificed, for me? how can i make them proud of me? How can i, make everyone i love, HAPPY?!"

his wife started to cry, and hold his hand and started to talk

"Please, you're the best man i've ever met. You're the best child ever for your parents. you're the best father ever, even maybe your children will never be that close with you. you'll always be our hero, my hero.
You don't need to worry about those things. i'm here, everyone's here for you. please, dont' worry about that. take care about yourself. you. you, and you."

"mmm okay but..."

"shhhh stop talking. what can we do now is making an effort. do the treatment, and pray to god. that's what can we do."

"yes. because everything depends on god. whatever the way that god will give, no matter how slippery is that way, just be sure, that it's the best way for us. Don't cry when it happened. i'll be sad if you do so."

About one year after that heart to heart talk, that husband kicked the bucket, at his very young age, leaving everyone that he loves. Just like what the husband said, the wife tried to be very strong. she wipes her tears, and ready to face the world, although she know the way that leads her will be hard. But she always baer something in her mind:
The way that god gives to us is the best way. no matter how slippery it is, it'll lead you to the best way ever.

Story of Her Life

2010-07-25T20:04:00.004+07:00

JADI.
Post ini ceritanya tentang pengalaman gue, yang didalamnya ada ceritanya.
Last Friday, one of my aunt was diagnosed for leukimia. Leukimia itself is cancer of the blood or bone marrow,characterized by an abnormal increase of blood cells, usually leukocytes.
Jadi ya ,mesti dimasukin ke Rumah Sakit Kanker Dharmais.(i hate this place actually.)

Singkatnya, gue sm bokap nyokap ke sana kan. Itu dadakan banget malem malaem, sampe sana udah jam 11 an lah kalo gak salah.
Itu kan buat yang leukimia kayak di isolasi gitu, jadi kita cuma bisa ngejenguk dia dari luar. Jadi kayak ngejenguk orang yang dimasukin ke akuarium gitu loh(?)
Oke balik lagi.
Di samping kamar tante gue itu ada ibu-ibu paruh baya lagi diem melototin hp nya. Pas kita masuk, dia langsung nyapa kita dan nunjukin dimana kamar tante gue itu.

Setelah ngobrol via kaca sama tante gue itu, kita duduk di kursi deket si ibu tadi itu.
Dan gue. jujur aja lemes, shock sendiri denger cerita ibu itu.

I look her through the mirror. She's still that young, fresh and yes, she looks like another teenagers.
She used to be an active gil; well, she went to the gym from monday to friday, she played softball every Saturday,she drove car and she loves to hang out with her friends for sure. Like i said.
She is fifteen and she's that cheerful until that tragedy happened.

That girl, C (secret name xoxo), and her family were planning to go somewhere for holiday. She packed her goods a day before,buy needs for that holiday sake, and she drove the car herself.
When she arrived at home, she told her mother :

"mom, what's this thing?"
"it's just an usual bruise, no need to worry. you must've hit something before."
"no i didn't!!! i don't even hit a thing"

That's where it starts.
Jadi kayak ada bekas biru gitu (kayak bekas kejedot) di tangan si C itu. Dia gak pusing, gak mual, gak lemes, gak kenapa napa. Cuma ada bekas biru itu. Sampe besoknya, pas mereka udah mau pergi, si C itu ngerasa lambungnya kesakitan.
Dibawalah sama mama nya ke rumah sakit pondok indah. dan pas di baca sample darah nya, ternyata dia kena leukimia.
dan pas di cek itu trombositnya tinggal 11. parahbanget itukan
Langsung dia dibawa ke rumah sakit Dharmais itu kan. Soalnya Rumah sakit dharmais itu khusus kanker.

Jadi, kalo kata ibu itu (dan itu kata dokter), leukimia itu penyebabnya masih gak jelas sampe skarang. Kalo kayak kanker paru paru kan gara gara menghisap asap rokok, kanker serviks bisa karena free sex, kalo leukimia itu gak spesifik dan gak jelas. dateng tiba tiba, ilang juga bisa tiba tiba. tapi tetep aja mematikan.
Soalnya katanaya leukimia ituvirus gitu, tapi ya gak nular. mereka kayak dateng kalo ada celah aja. kalo dalam kasus si C ini sih katanya karena terlalu sibuk,kurang istirahat, mana suka diet gitu lagi (oke,gue jadi tambah males diet he he -__-) , disitu lah virusnya leukimia itu masuk.
Itu tuh bukan dari heredity factors, bukan dari age factors. anak 8 bulan an aja banyak yang kena.
gak kayak lima taun yang lalu, presentase kesembuhan kanker (in this case leukimia) itu naik. Kata si ibu itu, kalo rutin dan telaten ngikutin treatmentnya, 2.5 tahun itu insyallah udah bisa sembuh.
Treatment nya itu mesti transfusi darah lah,kemoterapi lah, di masukin ke ruangan steril yang kayak akuarium itulah, sama minum madu gitu(kata si ibu itu dan kata dokter).
dan (transparan aja ya) biaya leukimia itu termasuk mahal loh -__- buat transfusi darah itu mesti beli darah nya ke PMI tuh 400 ribuan sampe 6 juta. bisa sih nyari donor sendiri tanpa beli darah ke PMI tapi itu ribet dan darahnya mesti cocok banget.
Belom kemo nya, apanya lah, total total sampe sembuh itu bisa 300juta itu belom sama ini itu nya.
kalo daripada kayak gitu, duitnya mending dipake shopping -___- jangan sampe yaAllah gue kena gitu yaAllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Back to C's story.
Sampe sekarang orangtuanya si C itu gak ngasih tau ke C apa penyakit yang dia derita. dia gak tau apa apa. taunya cuma sakit aja, mesti dirawat, dijenguk temen temennya, sendirian di kamar akuarium itu, sendiri. walau orangtua nunggu diluar tetep aja kasian.

Katanya,pas awal awal diagnosa sakitnya itu, orangtuanya shock gitu, sampe sebulan pertama tuh gak mau contact sama orang luar sangking shock nya.
Si C nya juga bingung,sedih sendiri karena di rawat di kamar akuarium itu. katanya,dia dua minggu pertama tuh nangiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis terus kerjanya.
iyalah. bayangin aja posisinya.
dia gak tau apa yang terjadi sama dia, kenapa dia di isolasi begitu, harus berhenti dari semua kegiatan dia, dan ngeliat orangtuanya nangis gitu.
dia gak tau kalo ada penyakit ganas yang bersarang ditubuhnya, yang bisa aja ngambil nyawanya kapanpun itu.

Yang gue salut, nyokapnya itu, setiap hari nungguin dia, sabar ngadepin berbagai masalahnya, selalu berusaha bikin anaknya tenang, nyaman dan gak ketakutan. Dia banayk banget bekorban buat anaknya, yang gak mungkin gue tulis semua disini sangking banyaknya. jujur aja pas denegr cerita dia itu, gue merinding,pengen nangis, sabaaaaaaaaaar banget itu orang. coba aja kalo denger cerita langsung dari dia.

yang jelas gue sedih banget liat dia kayak gitu, meski gue gak kenal dia. gue sedih ngeliat nyokapnya dengan mukanya yang keliatan capek sekaligus tabah, meski gue baru ketemu dia sekitar setengah jam waktu itu.
gue gak bisa bayangin kalo gue ada di posisi dia. umur gue sepantar sama dia, ya cuma gue baru 15 taun oktober sih-_-
pasti sedih banget mesti berenti dari semua rutinitas yang ada. wlaau bikin capek, tapi pasti kangen sama semua rutinitas itu.
sedih mesti pisah sama temen temen yang biasanya selalu kumpul sama gue.
sedih karena gak tau apa apa dan sedih mesti bertemu sama alat alat dokter dan tidur di kamar rumah sakit yang bentuknya kayak akuarium itu.

I really know how she,her mother,and her family feel.
And i reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly thank god that until now, i'm still healthy, i get the most precious thing in this world;health. No matter how many tiring things that should i do, it's better than staying all the time at hospital.
I really thank god for who i am now, with all of things that i have.

Gue cuma bisa diem aja pokoknya pas denegr kisah si C itu. kasian banget. She's not supposed to be like that. she supposed to enjoy her time now. but god had put her in another way that she will never dream of.
Gak seharusnya dia kayak gini.

Malem itu, gue smaa keluarga gue menyudahi kunjungan kita, pamit ke tante gue, pamit ke ibu itu, wish her the best for her life dan terakhir, nengok ke jendela kamar si C. ternyata dia bangun lagi, nonton tv.
nyokap bokap gue dadah dadah ke dia, dia cuma senyum tp kasian gitu mukanya. Gue lewat, gue senyum ke dia. tiba tiba gue liat papan bertuliskan 'get well soon' yang gatau dari siapa, dan gue ambil, gue tunjukkin ke kacanya sambil nyengir kayak orang bego, dan dia ketawa sambil dadah dahdah ke gue.

Malem itu, gue bersyukur banget gue bukan dia, ataupun orang orang kurang beruntung lainnya. gue bersyukur gue masih jalan, nyengar nyengir dan capek capek an.
Gue bersyukur gak ada kanker yang hidup di tubuh gue ya karna jujur aja gue emang cukup sensitif sama penyakit sialan itu, walau cuma disebut.
Jadi ya gue cuma bisa berdoa semoga kanker cepet ada obat yang bisa bikin cepet sembuhnya, suapaya gak banyak nyawa orang yang harus melayang sebelum masanya cuma karena penyakit sialan itu :)

A Grave Rhyme

2010-07-24T10:17:00.002+07:00

The moon shone down upon the grave, but the dead was not there; every child could go safely,even at night.
They know what terror would come upon us if such a strange thing were to happen, as the appearance of a dead person among us. They are better off than way we are; the dead return no more.
The earth has been heaped on the coffin, and it's earth only that lies within it.
The leaves of the hymn-book are dust; and the rose, with all it's recollections, has crumbled to dustt also. But over the grave fresh roses bloom, the nightingale sings, and the organ sounds and there still ives a remembrance of someone that's loved, with the loving,gentle eyes that always looked happy.
Eyes can never die.
Ours will once again behold dear someone out there, young and gentle as when,for the first time, he kissed the fresh,red rose, that is now dust in the grave.

Words and feelings

2010-07-20T19:02:00.000+07:00

Meski tanpa kata, ada hati yang dapat merasakan.

Kata kata mungkin dapat melukiskan berbagai perasaan yang terpendam.
Tapi mungkin tanpa sepatah katapun perasaan itupun dapat dirasakan. Karena kata kata bukanlah segalanya.

Kata kata manis bisa menutupi kepahitan,kebusukan segala yang tersimpan di hati. Tetapi perasaan, yang tak terlukiskan dengan kata kata, yang hanya dapat dirasa, tak akan bisa berbohong ataupun menutupi segala dusta

Jati diri

2010-07-17T15:12:00.000+07:00

Banyak orang sekarang mencari jati diri. tapi,sayangnya, kebanyakan dari mereka cuma meniru jati diri orang yang mereka anggap sesuai lah,keren lah,whatever. padahal, seharusnya, orang,terutama remaja, membangun dan nemuin jati dirinya sendiri. Bukan meniru jati diri orang lain,ngikut ngikut doang.
Find the real you, not imitating from others.
You'll discover the real you by yourself.
Make your own 'YOU'.
Make people adore you
Make everyone proud of you, the real original YOU.

loving behind your shoulder\

2010-07-17T14:24:00.001+07:00

Gatau kenapa tiba tiba inspired aja buat nulis ginian
well this is actually about---me. tapi gak ditulis dengan sisi gue aja. dari secara umum.

Love. Love. bosen sih kadang denger kata love love enek mau muntah malah kadang kadang. Tapi ya gitu, emang dunia diciptakan lengkap sama 'cinta' sih jadi mau kita menghindar, menjauh, ngelak, tetep aja bakal nemuin cinta sendirinya.

Love. Love can be expressed in sooooooooooo many different ways. and the kind of love that i wanna talk about is one of the hardest one, the most bitter kind. which often leads people to the end of long way.

loving behind your shoulder. secretly.
i used to be that type. mm actually the statement 'used to' is fake. it supposed to be like this----> i am that type.
Strange one.

Kan katanya cinta tuh bisa dateng kapan aja, asal ada chemistry, ada feeling. emang bener sih. tapi masalah yang ini tuh aneh.
Kadang nih, kalo dari gue sendiri, gue tuh bisa sayang sama orang, bahkan walau gue cuma kenal dia sepintas. gak deket.
Tau tau aja ada feeling. tau tau sayang. mau ngeliat mereka bahagia.
gak tau dari mana asalnya. tiba tiba aja
ya mungkin itu emang seni nya cinta kali.
i'll never know. we'll never know.

Jadi ya se kasus lah sama sejkenis 'secret admirer'.
tiba tiba suka- cari tau-sayang.

Kalo lagi gak di posisi itu, mungkin orang bakal nganggep orang kayak gitu tuh bego. mau aja dibutain cinta. tapi kalo lagi di posisi itu ya, mau apa lagi.

I have no more words to express this strange phenomenon but well i have some words

tak kenal maka tak sayang itu gak selamanya berlaku. kadang karna gak kenal, orang bisa menyayangi kok.

Loving doesn't always make us have to stay along with the one we love, knowing them really well.

Even two individuals that never meet each other can feel love between them

udah ah sebenernya post ini gak jelas maknanya apa
gue sendiri bingung
cuma tiba tiba aja kepikir
cuma yaaaa ada pesan aja;

Kalo ada orang yang gak kita kenal, tapi dia sayang sama kita,
jangan kecewain mereka,
jangan hina mereka karna mereka aneh lah,
jangan jadi benci sama mereka

Finding some that we can love is very easy. but finding someone that loves you eternally is hard.

so, respect people that love you, no matter who they are.
bear that on your mind

reflection

2010-07-17T13:37:00.002+07:00

This is just a veeeeeeeery simple post. and yes, i was looking at my facebook's home then i found someone's shouting there and hell, i love that post. it's simple but it makes me paralyzed,think, and learn

Permulaan cinta adalah membiarkan orang yang kamu cintai menjadi dirinya sendiri,dan tidak merubahnya menjadi gambaran yang kamu inginkan. Jika tidak,kamu hanya mencintai pantulan diri sendiri yang kamu temukan didalam dirinya.

Outta the comfort zone

2010-07-03T17:16:00.000+07:00

it feels like everything's complete when we stay at our comfort zone.
Yes, it seems that we're enjoying our life a lot. Like, like we already get all the things that we want.
Whatta perfect position rite? Yes it is.

but, we, are human. Normal teenagers, whose teenage passion is still flaming.
teenagers tend to know more and more things in this world, trying something new, lil' bit careless, and last, the most common human's characterisitc; never feel statisfied for everything they have.

So today i realized a connection between those two paragraphs in this life.
I may say that it's a quite dangerous connection.

orangtua gue, well terutama nyokap, menanamkan sesuatu mulai dari kecil.
Ya gue dididik untuk selalu hati hati dalam ngambil keputusan. Mungkin sekarang gue jd sok hati hati jadinya suka bikin ribet sendiri.
Dan juga nyuruh gue untuk selalu ambil 'jalan yang aman'.
Gak neko neko, gak aneh aneh. Ya yang udah ada jalan nya,yang aman, yang diambil aja. Ngapain ngambil resiko. Nanti malah jatoh, sakit dan kapok.

I've been living with that principal for a veeeeery long period. Emang sih ngambil jalan itu keputusan yang sangat bijak. Dewasa. Kayak orang tua.
Tapi lama lama gue mikir. Itu kan cara pikir orang tua, nenek kakek yang biasanya ngambil jalan 'terlalu' aman.
I'm an early-stage teenager, i'm still that fresh for trying some innovations, new things, different way. Ini waktu nya,masa nya, gue belajar, meng eksplorasi hal-hal baru, mencoba jalan yang beda. Yaa walau tetep ada batasannya lah, jadi yaaa
kenapa gue mesti ngambil jalan yang 'terlalu aman' tapi gak asik dan bosenin itu? Padahal ada jalan yang 'cukup aman' yang lebih seru, yang lebih baru,berbeda. Kenapa mesti takut untuk nyoba hal hal baru di 'golden age' ini?
Kita gak selamanya stagnant kan? Boleh dong kalo mau coba hal-hal baru? Cara cara baru? Innovations, new things untuk ngambil keputusan.
Siapa tau malah lebih baik,lebih enak daripada jalan aman yang terasa hambar, datar, gak bisa dikenang

yaaa but taking a new way in making decission has a big responsibility. We should be ready, whether physically or mentally. It maybe more risky, way risky then the 'safe' way.
We should be ready with everything that may stand in front us while walking in our new way. Every problems, every risk, or whatever that will stops you.
yeah, we should still think clearly before taking our decission with that new way. Be ready.

But there's a good side of taking that 'new' way.
First, we can learn how to think clearly, making a plan of our own, and starting something new.
Second, by walking in our own 'new' way, we can learn how to boost our confidence, walking in our own 'new' way, no matter what people say about our 'brilliant' innovation.
Third, in case of we fail on making our 'new' way. We can learn how to fix problems. We can be motivated when we fail. When we fail, we won't be statisfied for things that we achieved, so we will be motivated to work more, and more hard to get the best.
Then, if we suceed in running our 'new' way, we can learn how to improve our innovation, how to stay still in our way, no matter what people will do to ruined you into pieces.

So, i think, going out from our 'comfort zone' is okay. Sometimes we just need to get something new.
Don't be afraid to take some changes, as long as it's good for everyone.
And last, don't ever feel statisfied for everything you have.
Umm i mean, we should thank god a lot for everything we have, but we shouldn't feel statisfied if we could still improve what we have.
Mensyukuri apa yang dikasih tuhan, tapi tetep berusaha mencari yang terbaik buat kita,mengembangkan, menjaga, apa yang dikasih tuhan buat kita.
Kalo dalam hal-hal yang positif, gak apa apa kan gapernah merasa puas? Siapa itu jadi motivator kita :)

Terserah

2010-06-27T13:11:00.002+07:00

You know what. i've learned something, again. And i guess i regret myself for realizing about this thing. really. coba kalo gue gak pernah nyadar tentang hal ini. Pasti gak bakal bikin gue tambah gampang down.

Jadi. Sekarang gue benci sama kata 'Terserah'
Sounds like stupid. Kayak orang bego sih kalo sepintas ngebacanya.

Terserah kan sebenernya artinya= suka suka kita. bebas. bisa nentuin yang kita mau. tanpa batasan tertentu. asik kan keliatannya?
Yes, i used to love that words so much. Because when that word comes out from someone's mouth, that means i can choose what i REALLY WANT. Without limitations.

Tapi gue sadar kalo terserah itu akhir dari sesuatu.
Kenapa akhir?
Example,

'bu boleh ngerokok gak?'

'nggak lah!'

'kenapasih gak boleh? toh yang ngerasain akibatnya gue ini. dampaknya kan juga masih lama! mumpung masih muda kan mau nyoba'

'terserah kamu lah'

get it?
okay jadi gini. contoh gampang nya ya orangtua aja dari contoh diatas.
kita tau kan ngerokok itu gak baik. bisa bikin macem macem penyakit di tubuh kita. makanya orang tua kita ngelarang kita buat nge rokok. Dia gak mau terjadi apa apa sama kita. Dia takut kita sakit lah atau gimana.
Dia khawatir karna apa coba? soalnya orangtua pasti SAYANG sama kita.
Makanya dia ngelarang.

Disaat orang ngomong terserah, itu menandakan kalo dia tuh udah capek, setelah berusaha keras untuk melakukan atau mencegah sesuatu. Udah gak kuat. kayak udah gak ada harapan untuk ngelakuin apa apa.

Jadi dia bilang 'terserah'
Kalo dia udah biarin kita, gak ngelarang, ngebiarin kita bertindak sendiri, secara gak langsung dia udah bodo amat.
Mau kita sakit kek mau kita susah nantinya.
sama aja kayak udah gak peduli.
Makanya dia bilang 'terserah'

Jadi.
jangan bahagia kalo orang ngomong 'terserah'

"jangan sampe ibu ngomong terserah ke kamu. Kalo ibu udah ngomong terserah, berarti ibu udah gak mau tau lagi. udah capek ngasih tauin nya. Bersyukurlah kalo ada orang yang nasehatin kamu, ngelarang kamu untuk ngelakuin segala seuatu yang salah, karena dia masih peduli. gak masa bodo"

(my mom)

dan, gue kemaren kan habis les bahasa inggris tuh kapan itu.
ada idioms yang udah familiar bagi kita
yaitu
'up to you'
di ambil dari idiom dasar nya----- be up to someone (jadi misalnya bisa up to her, up to him, etc.)
dan up to you itu, ternyata kalo diliat artinya di kamus, bermakna lebih dari sekedar ' terserah'
Selama ini kan taunya arti up to you cuma terserah.
Tapi arti yang sebenernya itu lebih dari itu
' be a person's reponsibility'
udah jadi tanggung jawab seutuhnya bagi sesorang. orang lain yang ngomong up to you itu berarti udah gamau tau, udah lepas tangan, dan nyerahin semua tanggung jawabnya ke kita. gitu

makanya sekarang gue akan lebih hati hati, lebih mikir, kalo denger orang ngomong up to you atau terserah.

Karena kalo orang udah ngomong terserah, berarti kepeduliannya ke kita udah berkurang.
So please don't say 'up to you' to me :(

The Holiday

2010-06-26T13:05:00.004+07:00

So, yesterday wasn't a great day. Frustation mode on. I have no idea about what to do then i turned on the tv, and watch a local tv channel;transtv. Actually i stop on that channel because i'm not at my mood to watch kinda 'thinking' programme.
Firstly i'm not interested at all, yes, i thought it's just an soap opera movie but yeah, i don't care, i just watch it. Males gila nonton yang berat berat jadi mending nonton film romantis gak jelas gitu biar nenangin otak. Tapi gewla itu ternyata film nya bagus gitu~

For romantic-haters, don't watch this movie. Because it's kinda sweet, meangingful, and gaah i love it! (too much sekali) This movie is recomended for love bird couples, stressed person who needs relaxation(just like me), the one who had been deserted by their love, ya pokoknya yang hidup nya lagi ada cinta cintaannya lah -___- he he

So this is the synopsis of the movie; The Holiday

The two main characters are Amanda (Cameron Diaz), a highly successful editor of movie trailers in Los Angeles, and Iris (Kate Winslet), a lovesick society column editor for The Daily Telegraph in London. The story is set in motion when each of them suffers a heartache: Amanda discovers that her boyfriend has cheated on her, while the object of Iris' unrequited love announces his engagement at the office Christmas party. Seeking an escape, Iris proposes the home swap on the internet, posting an ad about her quaint cottage in Surrey in the English countryside. Her offer is eagerly accepted by Amanda, who lives in a luxurious home in L.A. but is stressed over her break-up. (There are also hints that Amanda is a workaholic; there is a running gag that she imagines her life as being narrated by movie trailer narrator Hal Douglas.)

At first, the swap seems uneven; Iris revels in the luxury of Amanda's L.A. home, while Amanda suffers a series of disappointments in Surrey. Things turn around for Amanda when she meets Iris' brother Graham (Jude Law). Both Amanda and Graham intend to have a one-night stand, but a romance develops. Things get complicated as only one day arrives until Amanda's flight is scheduled to leave to L.A. While in the cab, leaving for the airport, Amanda realizes she loves Graham, so she runs back to the house, (where she recently left Graham), and hugs him.

Meanwhile, Iris befriends movie composer Miles (Jack Black) and elderly Arthur Abbott; Arthur, it turns out, worked as a screenwriter during the Golden Age of Hollywood. The friendship between Iris and Miles turns romantic after Miles learns of his girlfriend Maggie's (Shannyn Sossamon) infidelity.

In the last scene, it shows Iris, Miles, Amanda, Graham, and his children, (Sophia and Olivia), dancing in the living room celebrating New Years. They live happily ever after in Surrey.
(source:wikipedia)

Well i shoud've not write the ending -__- umm actually, by ONLY reading the synopsis, will give no sense. it's just like um.... 'boring' 'standard plot' or whatever but gee you should watch it!
The actor and actress did very well, they played their role with strong passion. Konflik batin nya tuh ngena gitu, apalagi kalo bisa ngerasain rasanya jadi orang orang nya itu. Ngena gitu deh film nya.
Also i learned many things about love from that movie; loving someone, making others happy, how to amuse ourself and believe it or not i learned some new vocabularies from watching that movie -___-
Lagian yang maen itu lumayan ganteng loh he he(tapi udah tua, tapi tetep ganteng) Pokoknya nonton deh~~ (maaf jadi promosi)
tapi, buat anak dibawah umur jangan nonton ya, soalnya banyak adegan 'hot' nya dan nilai moral nya kurang buat anak anak(kata nyokap)

mana kemaren nana juga nontonnya itu, jadi kompakan kita nontonnya sama jadi sambil smsan bisa ngomongin filmnya(oke seru sekali ya -__-) Sekalian jadi theme movie(maaf maksa) anniv kita yang ke 7bln he he he WORTH TO WATCH!

Last but not least

Happy 7th month-versary for me and Nana
Longlasting(-__- ngucapin sendiri)

This is Love

2010-06-25T12:25:00.002+07:00

Loving wasn't easy
We should survive when many troubles come.
You know, it maybe hard. Sometimes you just wanna escape from those things. But you should survive.
Just let those trouble make your love grows even fonder.

Love is risking to never get love in back
Because that’s the art of love. And yes, not getting love in return isn’t a reason to stop loving.
Don't ever wait a love in return from the one that you love.
Just find another person that love you, and try to love that person.
But still, you don't have to stop loving anybody.

Love is to let whom you love go
Because being with us, always in the same condition, always in the comfort zone doesn’t always make the one you love happy. Because,

Love is happy seeing others happy.
Just let your love get what he/she wants, then your love feels happy.
If you can be happy by seeing others happy, not forcing your own will, you’re succeed in loving someone truly.

Crying is not the only way to show your love
Crying may be the greatest way to express your emotion. Yes it’s great.
But there are thousand worth things that you can do, like things that I’ve mentioned above, that you can do to express your love.
Rather than just crying, reminiscing, and doing such a fool thing.

and last, just believe this

Love will find the best way for you
You don't need to find your love, you don't need to push yourself for loving somebody. Because in time, love will come to you, maybe in a strange way that you've never expected before.
God has plans for you, and just be sure that that plan is the best for you :)

~.~

2010-06-25T12:12:00.003+07:00

When i cried on the phone, and no one can stop me from doing that thing, he stopped speaking.

"close your eyes."

"why do i supposed to do your command?"

"close your eyes."

"no i won't"

"just close it please, im begging you"

"then what???"

"you did?"

"yessss then what?"

"imagine that you're looking at me"

Believe it or not, i cried more and more when he said so.
Yes. I see him in my eyes.
I can imagine how he looks like when he said those sentences.
His mimic, his gestures. It's all pictured in my mind when i close my eyes.
Suddenly i realized, i miss him.
And yes, i love it when he turned into a sweet prince. With no anger.

"remember, some hours ago i'm seating there, at your house, next to you."

Okay i can't speak even a word.

"just imagine that i'm there, holding you tight, serenading your hands, putting my hand on your hair"

"i'll always be there for you. I don't care about how many problems that comes to us. But you, should believe that i love you. Please"

I started to calm down after crying for quite long period and asked;

"tell me, how to make you believe that i love you?"

"believe me that i love you"

"i did. And i always will"

We came up to the end of that phone conversation, and he texted me.

If i can make my own life,i don't wanna have another girl except you for my whole life.
We've done a lot of things together, doing some fun things, blaming each other, having so much fantasy, understanding each other. And yes, we've been through lotta things!
i wish that i could be your everything till the end of your life.
And i hope that you can trust me that i love you in a way that you are. I never met someone like you

Up and Down

2010-06-25T12:03:00.002+07:00

Di dunia ini gak ada kata abadi,selamanya, setia. Gak ada.

Begitu jg dengan cinta, gak ada kata abadi,selamanya setia.
Kecuali yaaa sayang nya tuhan ke mahluk mahluknya.

Kadang gue suka mikir. Capek juga ya sayang sama orang. Toh gue tau akhir akhirnya pasti sesuatu yg gua sayang itu pasti bakal ninggalin gua.
Semua.
Mau gua takut kayak apapun, mau usaha kayak apa jg, mau sepinter apa gue ngehindar, tetep aja, kenyataan pasti bakal dateng.
Pasti ada perpisahan, ada kata ditinggalin. Momen itu pasti dateng.

Gue jadi suka mikir, kadang kalo lagi frustasi malah berharap supaya gua gausah sayang sama apapun. Mau orang kek benda kek.
Mending gua gausah sayang sm apapun. Hati beku. Gak capek mikirin perasaan orang
Gak perlu sedih pas kehilangan sesuatu
Capek taugak nungguin sesuatu yang gakpasti, nyayangin sesuatu yg gak sayang sm gua. Capek banget. Kayak sia-sia. Kayak orang dongo. Melas gitu kesannya.
Yaa gua bisa bilang gitu karena emang gue udah sering, dan mungkin biasa dengan keadaan gitu.

Gue sayaaaaaaang banget sama banyak hal. Dan kalo gue sayang sama sesuatu, gua gak pernah mainmain. Bener bener tulus.
Walau kadang yang gue sayang itu gak sayang balik sama gue T.T

Banyaaaak banget orang yang sangat berarti buat gue.
Tapi sedikitttt banget dan mungkin hampir gak ada orang yang nganggep gue berarti.
Banyaaaaak banget orang yang gue butuhin.
Tapi bisa diitung pake jari berapa yang bener bener sebener benernya butuh gue.
dan ini yang menurut gue parah;
Gue suka ngerasa deket sama sesuatu dan seseorang, tapi..............orang itu gak pernah ngerasa deket sama gue.

How inane am i?
Melas kan. Biarin aja kok. Banyak orang yang ngerasa hal itu.

Oke gue nulis gini, malem malem. Dan beberapa jam yang lalu gue udah kayak orang gila yang gak berperasaan, gak bisa mikir, gak ngerasa apapun. flat.
Karena gue dibikin down sama seseorang yang namanya ma*lana. (pasti bisa tebak lah -___-)
Kenapa? Ribet maslahnya, dan emang gue lagi emotional dan mellow sih +.+
Pokoknya intinya, saat itu dia marahin gue. oke gue emang gak biasa dimarahin, hampir gak pernah malah. Nah gara gara dia marahin, gue jadi super down,dan jadi orang stres gitu.
Parahnya gue tambah dimarahin.
Padahal, gue tau, gue tuh bukan tipe orang yang jinak kalo dimarahin. gue benci dimarahin. Benci banget.

Pokoknya saat itu gue ngerasa gak ada yang sayang sama gue, gue gak punya siapa siapa.
Well iya sih wajar gue mikir gitu.
lagi down sih.
Temen? Berapa sih temen gue yang bener bener temen? jaman sekarang yang beneran 'temen' tuh bisa diitung jari!
Banyak temen yang cuma bisa diajak seneng seneng. Ada temen yang cuma mau jadiin kita tempat cerita. Susah nyari temen. Bahkan saat stres itu gue ngerasa gak punya siapa siapa.

Orangtua? suka gak ngertiin keinginan gue.

Tapi tiba tiba orang yang udah bikin gue ancur saat itu nyadarin gue balik dari dunia kebodohan gue.
Kita gak boleh ngerasa gitu.
Gue jadi sadar,keluarga guelah yang paling sabar dan nerima gimanapun ancurnya gue.
'kasih sayang orangtua tiada batas'

Ada pacar gue yang marahin gue tadi, yang masih rela capek capekan ngurusin gue, berantem tiap hari, nyadarin gue terus, selalu ada buat gue,ngertiin gue yang judes, emosian, egois, suka stres,moody.

Kalo soal temen ya, no comment lah.
Susah nilai nya mana yang bener dan mana yang 'bener'.
Tapi yang jelas, they help a lot in supprting my life.
Whether they realized or not.

Gue juga jadi sadar,maulana, nana, orang kerempeng itu marahin gue beralasan.
Mungkin emang sekali sekali gue harus digalakin. Lagipula gue udah lama ini gak dimarahin.
tadi diatas gue bilang kan, gue gasuka dimarahin.

Tapi ya gak selamanya hal yang kita suka itu baik buat kita.
Dan gak selamanya hal yang gak kita suka itu buruk buat kita.
Kadang hal buruk itu emang jalan yang terbaik untuk mencapai sesuatu yang diinginkan.

pelajaran lain yang gue ambil, yang gue simpulkan sendiri.
Gue gak perlu berhenti sayang sama orang karena mereka gak sayang gue.
mulai sekarang, gue mau gak peduli.
Bodo amat mereka gak sayang gue, gak ngehargain gue, idc.

Gak dapet kasih sayang balasan bukan lah alasan bagi kita untuk berhenti sayang sama orang kan? Iya :)

Boredom Syndrome

2010-06-22T10:58:00.003+07:00

umm so just like what i posted on the previous post, i'm in love with an old song. fixing a Broken Heart. And guess what? i'm trying to make it in my own way. bahaha.
it's not the full version anyway. because i haven't learned it till the end -___-
sorry for the bad voice and wobbling hands. enjoy this boredom syndrome video~

p.s the ending is totally bad -__- sorry

Fixing a Broken Heart

2010-06-21T11:14:00.003+07:00

Well this is an old song actually. Like umm mommy's era. but yeah i listen to this song on the radio one day. then i googled it, download it. and yea quite recomended for ya!
This is Christian Bautista's version. But he's not the first singer of this song. you better listen ;)

There was nothing to say the day she left
Just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in rain
Looking for some place to ease the pain, ooh
Then like an answered prayer
I turned you around and found you there

* You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose draems have broken apart
Fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that led me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are neat, yeah
Just like an answered prayer
You must the londliness easy to bear

* repeat

Soon the rain will stop falling baby
And I'll forget the past
'cause here we are at leat

Simple things that we love

2010-06-20T10:42:00.002+07:00

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

1. Always makes us feel loved.
2. A kiss on the cheek means “yes”.
3. We want you to put your arm around us at the theater.
4. Fighting and swearing doesn’t impress us.
5. We don’t always look our best, so please, get over it…
6. We’re not perfect.
7. The smallest things you do mean most.
8. When you say we’re cold it’s our invitation to come closer.
9. Hugs mean more sometimes.

10. Kiss us in the rain.
11. Don’t call us sexy or hot.
12. Being called beautiful makes us melt.
13. Don’t lie to us, we’ll find out.
14. Never cheat on us.
15. Hold our hand and hug us in front of your friends.
16. Never force us to do something we don’t want to do.
17. If we’re upset, comfort us.

18. We love it when you cuddle us from behind.
19. Text us at night to wish us sweet dreams.
20. Sometimes we need your advice too.

Well so. umm you know, girls maybe crazy, strange or whatever you wanna say. we're unique, yeah strange, hardly to be understood but yes, you should admit it, we're lovable ;p

It's an Incredibly Special Lesson for My Life :)

2010-06-19T13:01:00.002+07:00

Well today i got my report card. And more than that, i got a veeeeeeeeeeeery special lesson today. A lesson, that i won't forget. A new principal of my life.
Lessons,that make my ego fade away, and motivate me a lot.
Check it out, ypu'll find the lesson if you read it from begining till the end.

Gue udah pasrah sama nilai gue. Gua tau gua gak maju. Tingkat belajar gue, cara belajar gue,semangat gue, dari tahun ke tahun biasa aja. Gak turun, gak naik. Stagnant. Ditambah lagi dengan (maaf) temen temen gue yang makin ahli aja dalam hal 'belajar'. Yaaa ngerti kan maksud gua. nyontek lah kasarnya.

Lo boleh anggep gua geeky. I don't really mind cause yes i am. Gue tipe orang yang sangat peduli sama nilai gue, sama pelajaran, sama hal hal sekolah. Gue juga tipe orang yang bisa lo bilang cupu. karna gue gak suka nyontek. Yaa nyontek pernah lah, munafik kalo bilang gak pernah. Tapi dalam diri gue gua benci nyontek. Gak suka. Cuma orang gak kreatif yang nyontek. Itu prinsip gua. Kalo bisa se bisa bisa nya gue gak mau nyontek (kecuali kalo udah dead end.).

Karna gue sangat peduli nilai dan gak suka sama nyontek, gua bisa kesel,murka,marah, sedih se sedih sedihnya sampe nangis kejer kalo nilai gue jelek, atau her. Apalagi kalo yang nyontek nilainya lebih bagus dari gue, padahal gua udah belajar mati matian. Okay ini baru pertama kalinya gue ngomong alter ego gue yang sejujur jujurnya. Egois kan? yeah maybe i am an egoistic.

Di perjalanan ke sekolah gue makin takut banget soal nilai gua. Akhirnya gue bilang ke nyokap gue

"Bu maaf ya kalo aku gak ranking 1 lagi"

"ah yaudah lah gak apa apa yang penting udah berusaha semaksimal mungkin kok. Tapi lagian kamunya sih gak belajar"

Oke disitu gue mulai rada emosi. dalem hati udah teriak teriak sendiri. Aku biasa aja. Cara belajar ku biasa aja. Bukan aku yang turun, orang yang 'naik' .
Akhrinya gue ngomong ke nyokap gue

"Bu, aku itu aku. Aku yang tau diriku naik atau turun, aku yang paling tau diriku sendiri. Bukan aku yang turun tapi orang yang naik. Yaa ya aku emang segitu segitu aja gak berkembang. Dan itu karna faktor orang orang aja yang makin ngehalalin segala cara supaya bisa dapet nilai bagus.Dan jangan angeep aku nuduh, aku tau orang orang begitu karna aku liat, dan denger sendiri bu tentang apa yang orang orang lakuin"

Nyokap gue diem aja.

"Nyontek maksudnya?"

"mm iya. Yaa aku akuin sih aku juga pasti pernah lah nyontek tapi serius deh bener bener kalo kepepet, dan tiap aku mau nyontek suka gak dikasih jalan sama Allah(?)"

"Yaa yaudah lah tar. Biarin orang mau milih jalan apa untuk ngedapetin kesuksesannya. Nilai tuh gampang dicari. Cara busuk tuh banyak. Tapi bagi ibu itu gak penting. Gak penting kamu ranking berapa nilai gimana yang penting itu usaha kamu sendiri, semampu kamu."

Omongan nyokap gue sedikit ngena ke gue saat itu. Iya. Ngapain nilai gue bagus kalo nyatanya dengan cara yang sama sekali gak bikin nyokap gue bangga. Malu kalo sampe gitu.
Yaa tapi gue masih tetep aja kesel. Emosi. Ngapain gue belajar susah susah kalo ternyata hasilnya jelek?
Sementara yang gak belajar, tinggal nyontek, nilai bisa bagus.
Gue dendam sendiri jadinya.
Egosi kan?emang. tapi egois yang kayak gini sih menurut gue perlu.

Akhirnya sampe disekolah. Singkat waktunya sampe lah giliran nyokap gue ambil rapot. Langsung aja Bu jannah to the point.

"tara nilainya turun banget ya. Kenapa sih? Liat nih"

Gue lemes banget saat itu. Gue liat nama gue dan cuma ranking 6. 6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6.6 Gue parno sendiri liatnya.
'Betapa bego nya gue'

Langsung gue liatin urutan ranking orang orang. And wow. Everything tottally changed. Orang orang yang gue jagokan, yang menurut gue pinter dan rajin gak dapet ranking yang tinggi. Sebaliknya ada yang gue gak terlalu perhitungkan malah bagus. Yaa walau ada orang orang yang udah gue prediksi dapet nilai nilai bagus sih. Dosa emang gue suudzon ya. Tapi ya bukan suudzon juga sih., Gue gampang kok nebak siapa yang bagus bagus.

"Iya bu tara turun banget ini dari rapot kelas 7. Yaa saya tau pasti ada saatnya lah orang kan gak selamanya bisa survive, pasti ada naik turunnya.Kan gantian supaya yang lain bisa gerasain ranking 1 hehehee"

Nyokap gue sama Bu jannah ketawa ketawa senyum doang. Gue cuma diem aja. Gua yakin tampang gua pas saat itu murka banget. Pasti muka sadis orang pengen marah,campur nangis.
Pilu banget rasanya. 'Gila tau gini mah mending gue nyontek cuy' hati gue udah ngomong gitu berkali kali. Tapi tiba tiba nyokap gue ngomong ke Bu Jannah.

"Yaa saya gak terlalu memforsir tara suapaya dapet nilai bagus lah,ranking lah, buat saya nilai itu gak terlalu penting. Gak menjadai tolak ukur yang paling utama. Dengan anak saya udah berusaha semampunya, dengan cara yang benar dan sewajarnya, itu udah alhamdulillah buat saya. itu berarti udah yang terbaik buat saya"

Dan saat nyokap gue ngomong gitu mata gue langsung basah, berkaca kaca. Mau nangis rasanya. Tapi ditahan. Malu lah bu jannah bisa nganggep gue cengeng banget cuma gara gara masalah nilai.

Oke lah emang gue cengeng. tapi sejujurnya gue bingung. Gue mau nangis kenapa? Semua kecampur jadi satu. Gue terharu nyokap gue ngomong gitu. Berarti dia bisa nerima gue apa adanya, dengan kemampuan gue yang segitu aja. Bisa tetep mensyukuri gue dengan segini. Dan dia ngerti kalo gue udah berusaha.
Tapi disisi lain gue kesel. jujur dari kelas 1 sd sampe kelas 8 semester 1 gue selalu ranking 1. dan sekarang? Semua berakhir. 6. 6 bukan angka yang bagus bagi gue. Gue udah kebiasa di atas, di puncak kemenangan, dengan cara belajar gue yang biasanya. Dan sekarang? Gue dikalahin sama temen temen gue, dan lebih nya pacar gue juga, dengan cara yang menurut gue 'sangat gak terhormat'.
Sakit banget rasanya.
Disisi lain gue juga kesel sama guru guru nya yang gak mendisiplinkan gue,dan temen temen gue, supaya terbentuk mental yang disiplin.
Semua campur aduk jadi satu.
Dendaaaaaaaaam banget. Ya seenggak enggak nya ranking 2 lebih terhormat lah daripada 6. 5 aja masih mendingan.
Rasanya maluuuuuuuuuuuu banget pengen nangis.

Terus Bu Jannah ngomong lagi:

"Yaa tapi bisa dimaklumin bu, dari guru guru juga kan ada pergantian mungkin tara masih belom biasa, ditambah pelajarannya susah. Belom lagi waktu itu Tara sempet ikut lomba kan tiga kali, mana yang satu akhirnya ke cancel. Mungkin belajarnya jadi gak fokus. Waktu itu kan ada latihan latihan lomba gitu jadi ketinggalan pelajaran mungkin."

Denger Bu Jannah ngomong gitu gue jadi agak tenangan. Awalnya mata gue udah basah dan diliatin Bu Jannah sekarang udah nggak. Tiba tiba gue mikir. bener juga omongan orang ini. Gue gak fokus. Tapi tetep aja sebel, gue dikalahin dengan cara yang gak baik.

"yaa tahun depan kan udah bebas kegiatan yang seperti itu jadi mungkin bisa fokus ya bu ya"

Gue cepet cepet salim dan ngacir keluar kelas. Jadi pengen nangis lagi. Sakit rasanya, serasa dipermalukan harga diri turun. Oke ini emang lebay banget, sampe bikin orang ketawa mungkin. Tapi gue bener bener ngerasa gitu saat itu.

Ngeliat nadia gue langsung peluk dia, "nad gue juga rangkin 6 nad......"
Udah gue nagis tapi masih ditahan. Malu gila ada banyak anak.
Terus gue jalan lagi, sambil nyamperin nana, nyalamin dia "selamat ya kamu ranking dua na :)"
Terus gue langsung jalan ninggalin dia tanpa ngomong apa apa. Udah gak tahan pengen nangis.
Samar samar dari belakang gue denger anak anak padi cie ciein nana gara gara ranking 2.

Tambah down aja gue. nangis. masuk mobil.

"Bu tapi aku kesel!!!!!! Gila apa?! tau gini mending gua gak usah belajar. Gakl belajar juga nilai bagus, kalo nyontek doang mah aku juga jago kali kalo aku mau!!"

"Ya udah lah tar. Kamu jangan ngikutin orang ke jalan yang salah. Kamu jangan ngatain orang tapi nantinya n gikutin mereka! Ini mungkin jadi pelajaran yang berharga buat kamu. Titik balik buat introspeksi diri. Mungkin kamu belajarnya kurang serius............"

"....Ya tapi aku belajar juga orang kalo nyontek nilainya bisa ngelebihin bu!!!!!!!!"

" Ya biarin orang mau ambil jalan yang mana. Ibu gak mau kamu ngeraih kesuksesan dengan jalan yang salah. Buat apa nilai bagus kalo nyontek tara? Ibu juga gak akan bangga dengan gitu. Jadi diri sendiri, pegang teguh sama prinsip kamu. Jangan terpengaruh."

"hhhhhhhhhhhh tapi ya gimana bu, aku mau ngasih tau guru juga nanti di sebelin sama temen temen. Dan yaa harus aku akuin aku juga pernah lah nyontek kan"

"nah kamu juga nyontek"

"pas pkn aku dikasih foto contekan, tapi pas ulangannya gak jadi kupake gara gara hp nya ketinggalan di tas. Tiap aku mau nyontek tuh susaaaaaaaah banget gakada jalan yang enak"

"ya kamu harusnya bersyukur dong! Itu artinya Allah masih sayang sama kamu. Allah gak mau kamu ngambil jalan yang salah, kamu masih diberi kesempatan untuk milih jalan yang baik!"

Gue diem lagi. Mikir. Allah masih sayang gue. masih sayang.dan selalu sayang sama umatnya.
Gue yakin tuhan pasti mau membimbing umatnya ke jalan yang benar.

"Yaa sekarang coba kamu liat diri kamu. apa belajar mu udah maksimal;? ibu liat kamu gak belajar setiap hari kan?"

"ya iyalah stres aku kalo tiap hari!"

"yaa pokoknya kamu belajar, tapi jangan memforsir diri sendiri. Ibu gak maksa kamu kan untuk dapet nilai tinggi atau apa? Sekarang dari kamunya. Coba lebih rajin"

" Tapi yang nyontek......."

"Jangan pikirin yang nyontek! Ngapain kamu pikirin? Gak usah dipikirin! nanti kamu malah tergoda tar. Jangan sekali kali pikirin yang di jalan gak bener. Pikirin dirmu sendiri aja, dimana, caranya, supaya kamu bisa dapet nilai bagus, dan yang penting dengan cara yang baik. Itu aja. rencanain,usaha,berdoa, pasrah sama tuhan. itu kuncinya. Udah. Gak usah peduliin orang gimana atau berkata apa! "

Gue diem lagi. Kicep tepatnya. Semua yang nyokap gue omongin itu bener.
Gua harusnya bersyukur karna tuhan masih gak membiarkan gue ke jalan yang salah.
Gue harusnya bersyukur karna nyokap gue gak maksain gue untuk selalu dapat nilai terbaik.
Gue harusnya gak meduliin orang orang yang berbuat licik, karna dengan ngurusin mereka, mikirin mereka, sedih karna dikalahin mereka, gak akan bikin gue maju. Gak bikin gue tambah pinter juga kan? useless.

"Toh kan kamu juga banyak jalan, main seneng seneng sama temen temen mu. Itu kan yang sebenernya bikin kamu bahagia? Bisa selalu deket sama temen temenmu? iya kan? Toh kamu seneng kan? Kamu dapet kesenengaan lain yang lebih berarti; temen temen mu, kumpul bareng. Kesenengan gak cuma dari nilai tar. Masa remaja, smp, apalagi kelas 8, itu seneng seneng. Jangan terlalu pusing sendiri. Mending sekarang seneng seneng dulu nanti kelas 9 nya jadi bisa konsen dan fokus."

gue lagi lagi diem. Ya. itu lah kesenangan, kebahagiaan yang sebenarnya. Merasakan kebahagiaan, dengan melakukan hal yang kita pengen lakuin. Itu kebahagiaan yang gue mau.
bener kata nyokap gue. toh gue kehilangan ranking paling atas, tapi gue dapet temen temen baru, yang bisa nyenengin gue, have fun bareng, jalan jalan, nge bandel bersama,kelayapan jalan jalan.

" Ya gak semua kebahagiaan bisa didapatkan secara bersamaan. Roda kehidupan berputar. Kebahagiaan an kesedihan kan berputar. Gantian. Mungkin kamu bahagia di satu aspek, di aspek lain ya kamu harus bisa ngerelain untuk ngasih kebahagiaan itu ke orang lain. Gantian. gitu loh"

I love that sentences. really love it. It touched my heart and suddenly, i feel like everything is okay.

Mungkin ini saatnya orang lain yang dapet ranking 1,2,3,4,5. Dapet niali yang lebih bagus dari gue. Victory is not always at our side. Someday we should give it to others. That's what we call sharing.

"Ya pokoknya ibu mau kamu ambil pelajarannya dari sini, dari smester ini. Seneng senengnya kan cukup, udah tuh. Ibu minta kelas 9 kamu serius, kurangin lah nge tweet nya, main internet nya. Belajar yang serius. Ayo dong tunjukin kalo kamu bisa, kamu mampu, kamu cerdas, kalo bisa kalahkan orang yang nyontek nyontek, yang pinter pinter! Itu pasti lebih membanggakan. Tentunya dengan cara yang baik loh. "

That's the nutshell.
Cukup udah santai nya, gue udah cukup santai nan bahagia di keals 8. Kelas 9 harus serius.
Gue harus lebih rajin belajar, supaya bisa pinter. Supaya nilai yang bagus.
Gue harus tetep pada prinsip, jangan ikut ikutan tergoda nyontek nyontekan. Jadi yang orang tua gue mau.
Dan satu lagi. Belajar untuk selalu ngambil hikmah dibalik kegagalan.
Belajar untuk gak egois, belajar untuk mengikhlas kan apa yang pergi dari gue, belajar untuk teguh sama diri sendiri.
Belajar untuk lebih dewasa.

ini baru sekolah. Jalan hidup kita itu masih panjang. Di dunia yang lebih luas, lebih nyata, pasti lebih banyak cobaan yang bakal menanti. Dan pasti, untuk mendapatkan apa yang kita mua, kita mesti bersaing. Dan dalam setiap persaingan, pasti ada orang orang yang memilih jalan yang licik, yang mungkin bakal ngejegal kita. ITU. Kita mesti belajar untuk survive.
Survive, struggle, start, and win.
Cobaan hidup tuh masih banyak.
Yang mesti kita siapkan itu mental kita. diri kita. jiwa kita.
Dan itu, kita sendiri yang milih.
Apakah kita mau jadi pecundang yang bermental peniru? atau jadi pemenang yang bermental penemu?
Kita yang milih. Kita, bukan orang lain.
Dan itu mesti dibentuk dari kecil.
Misalnya aja kalo dari kecil kita terbiasa korupsi waktu, atau uang jajan lah, itu sama aja dnegan membentuk kita menjadi mental koruptor dari kecil.
Mau kayak gitu? no thanks i don't.
Dari sekarang, gue sendiri, yang memutuskan mau jadi apa gue nantinya, mau ber mental apakah gue nantinya, mau sukses apa nggak. Gue sendiri, kita sendiri yang milih.
Semua dimulai dari diri sendiri dan sekarang.

Sekarang gue udah bisa ikhlas, nerima kekalahan yang sebenernya pahit ini. Tapi ya...apa gunanya ngeratapin terus terusan? Mending ikhlasin aja, lihat dari sisi positif. Ambil pelajarannya buat diri gue sendiri. Pokoknya gue udah bangga kok dengan apa yang gue dapetin sekarang ini.

Gue sayang banget dan berterimakasih sama nyokap gue yang udah bisa ngertiin gue, dan menyadarkan gue supaya berpikir jernih, supaya jadi lebih dewasa. Gue bersyukur gue dapet nyokap yang kuat, nanganin gue, mesti dia mesti berusaha sendiri selama 5 taunan, tanpa bokap gue. gue bangga dia bisa ngedidik gue sampe sekarang ini.
Pokoknya gue mau bikin nyokap gue bangga dengan gue, dan gue pingin bikin bokap gue yang udah tenang disana, tersenyum ke anak nya yang rapuh ini, dan berharap suatu saat mereka berdua bisa bangga sama gue. Ya gak ketinggalan bokap gue yang sekarang juga, yang udah bisa ngertiin gue.

Make your parents proud of you in the way that you are :)

Remember, goodness maybe hard to be achieved. But bear this on your mind; goodness always be the winner at the end :)

FAUX.

2010-06-15T15:37:00.002+07:00

FAUX.
Everything in this world were covered by lies, with not even an iota truth.

Everyone is imperfect.
Well this sentence seems like familiar, usual, ordinary, or whatever you say.
Everyone live with other and needs other. Between those individuals, there's a connection;a bond, a relationship.

Dalam suatu hubungan 'relationship' pasti banyak cobaannya. Dan sebagian orang, termasuk gue, rela bertahan mati matian untuk mempertahankan hubungan itu.
Ya.
Bertahan, nyelamatin, gimanapun caranya.

This is what i feel. This is what i'm talking about.
Feelings.

umm sorry for those who dislike what i'm gonna say. Because it seems like i boosted myself. Nggak kok. Gue gak bermaksud ngebanggain diri sendiri. Cuma ya ini gue, apa adanya. Gue bisa tau kok apa kekurangan gue, ataupun kelebihan gue. Namanya juga mengenal diri sendiri kan?

Gue sendiri, sebenernya tipe orang yang bisa dibilang fleksibel kalo dalam hal 'relation'.
Gue bisa nyesuain diri gue sama keadaan,sifat, kelakuan orang orang disekitar gue. Bisa dibilang gue sedikit ke dewasaan (ketuaan,red.) untuk anak seumur gue.
I could calm myself down when i get angry, i can understand other for blaming me, i won't fight back when people come and make me die down.
I do,and did it all, NOT BECAUSE I'M WEAK. Gue diem, ngalah, atau gimana, bukan karna gue lemah, gabisa, ataupun gak punya nyali. Tapi karena tadi; i wanna make everything's all right, i wanna keep these bond, these relation. Gue cuma gak mau ngerusak semuanya. Itu aja.
Ya walau mungkin dalam hati, gue suka ngumpat kata kata kasar, marah marah sendiri, atau bahkan mukul meja pas semua orang udah gak ada.

Munafik?
Muka dua?
Cari perhatian?
Terserah apa yang lo bilang. I don't care.

Mungkin emang terkesan munafik; di depan diem aja, gak ngapa ngapain, tapi dibelakang ngata ngatain, marah marah atau ngomongin.
Mungkin terkesan muka dua; di depan baik, dibelakang ngomongin, dan mungkin udah pengen ngebunuh orang orang itu.
Mungkin emang terkesan cari perhatian; bertindak "sok" bijak, sok dewasa, sok calm down, sok baik baik aja, supaya orang lain tetap enak, dan tenang---tanpa mikirin perasaan gue.
Once again i said, I don't care about how do people judge me in those 'unfair' way.

Gue gak marah di depan, karna gue gak mau nyari ribut lagi. Gue gak mau cari masalah. Gue mau semuanya damai damai aja.
Gue gak langsung ngomong apa yang gak gue sukain, apa yang ada di dalam hati, karna gue gamau nyakitin orang lain dengan perkataan perkataan gue yang mungkin keluar kalo gue keluarin. Yaa karena gue sadar, sadar banget kalo omongan gue suka sinis, nusuk, pedes lah atau gimana, kalo lagi kesel.
Gue diem aja, bertindak kayak gak ada apa apa, pasang muka datar ataupun melas, calm down aja, supaya semua gak perlu tau betapa murka nya gue saat itu.
Stabilizing. That's what i do, and did.

Kalo lo tau, gimana gue sekarang, ngejaga semuanya, gimana rasanya, sebanyak apa gue makan ati, pasti lo akan nyesel. atau mungkin nggak.
Kalo gue mau, gue bisa aja cuek dalam suatu relation. Dalam suatu hubungan, pertemanan, pacar kek keluarga lah apa terserah, gue bisa aja jadi cuek, gak mikirin perasaan orang, mentingiin ego, amarah atau nafsu gue.
Gue bisa teriak di depan muka orang orang, bisa ngomong sepedes pedesnya, pasang muka yang paling sinis, evilitastic, judes ataupun garang.
Gue bisa ngapain aja untuk ngebalesin dendam gue, ngejatuhin lo, bikin nama lu jelek atau lo celaka. Bisa. Maaf ya, otak gue jalan---ya walau gue akuin otal gue yang bisa dibilang terang ini juga bisa disetir jadi otak 'jahat'
Kalo gue mau, gue bisa nyelakain orang dengan gak terduga. Banyaaaaaaaaaak banget pikiran busuk,rencana keji yang bisa gue susun dengan baik.
Tapi.
Gue gak bisa ngelakuinnya.
I'm not good at destroying or facing the truth.
I'm not that evil. That's not me.
I can make thousand of evil plan, but i won't be able to make it come true.
I just can't do it. Because for me, stabilizing is up to me.It's like my un-written destiny.
It feels like i''m a neutralizing media.

Saat gue udah mau ngomong kata kata 'jahat' gue,rasanya ada yang ngebisikin ke telinga gue.

"Kalo lo gini, lo ngancurin semua yang udah lo bangun susah payah selama ini. Yang udah lo jaga. Yang lo usahain, yang butuh gak sedikit pengorbanan. Kalo lo nurutin hasrat lo, jadi kayak mereka, kebawa emosi, mau jadi apa ikatan itu? Mau jadi apa ikatan itu kalo gak ada satupun yang ngalah? Yang bersikap lebiuh dewasa?"

Kalo udah gitu, gue diem sendiri. Malu sendiri.

"Kok gue sempet mikir untuk jadi se bangsat mereka ya? gue ngatain, gak suka sama mereka, tapi malah mau ikut ikut gitu karna mau kebawa emosi"

Sejenak gue senyum. Senyum sendiri. Entah itu senyum kecut apa senyum yang menggambarkan keikhlasan.
Yang jelas gue senyum, dan mikir, kok gue sempet berpikir se bego itu ya

Kalo udah gitu, gue milih untuk diem aja. Membatalkan seeeeeeemua ide busuk di otak gue.
Kalo emang gue lagi kesel sama orang, gue selalu nyoba buat mikir dan ngelihat dari sisi lain.

"ah mungkin dia lagi emosi"

"mungkin dia lagi banyak masalah"

"mungkin emang ada yang salah dari diri gue"

"mungkin....................emang begitulah dia. Gue harus bisa ngertiin dia. Jangan jadi seperti dia"

And after that. Everything seems like good and fine. Every cloud has silver lighting.
Well at least, i can tak, and get sooooooooooooooo many lesson from even one case.
You may say that i'm a liar, or what, backstabber? no i'm not. sorry.
I just wanna make things right. I'm trying to be mature, wise, gentle, kind.
I'm trying to handle it all.
I don' care about how much pain that i should keep down inside my heart.
I want to make you happy.
All of you.
It's okay to be at this 'painful' position for veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time, or even forever, as long as i can make things right. As good as i can.
Well i'm not searching for things back in return, i'm just hoping, that someday, you'll realized about what i'm feeling, and say in your heart;
'thanks for understanding me'

Still

2010-06-14T21:49:00.001+07:00

This was just a memory in an old book.

It's just an old story that had been kept for very long time.

But who knows, an old story can happened again,once.

This love was locked in my heart, kept down,deeply inside my heart.

i've choosen a risky way.
To fight back, to walk through this way again.
Although i know it'll be hard.
I started to walk, i started to write a new chapter of this book.

Then my mind started to spin.
And wondering, do you feel the same way too?
Do you choose to stray to this way again?

I shoud've realized before that you don't.

i shoud've known that you've put away those memories outta your mind.

Now, it's just me, standing here,in this solitude night, with no fix decission.

I'm remeniscing.
I used to see your smile in front of my face, giving your best smile to my sour-face.
You smiles to me just like the wind breeze of the hot day
You smiles to me like you have no burden in this life. that, is the smile that light up my spirit the most.
Although problems come and go circling my life.
Your breath answers all of my soliloquies.

i don't care if storm will make me paralyzed or if this knife will break my heart.
remember, i'll always be here, i'll never let you fall, i'll lead you to walk through this slipery way.

Bear these words in your mind;
i'll always give you the light for your darkest hour.
and
It'll never fade away, just like a star that always shines our night.
Whose light will shines this empty heart.

I realized that you make me understand these things

2010-06-14T21:45:00.000+07:00

Selama sama kamu,aku bener bener dibawa ke dunia baru, yg beda. Diharuskan melihat dari sudut pandang baru yang berbeda, yang gak pernah ku lihat sebelomnya

Aku dapet banyak hal.

Gak selamanya aku bisa berharap sm org. Gak selamanya aku harus mau dimengerti
Gak selamanya aku bisa dapetin hal yg selalu enak
Gak selamanya aku bs nyetir orang sesuai dgn keinginan aku
semua org punya dirinya sendiri

99 Facts About Guys

2010-06-01T19:01:00.000+07:00

Believe it or not

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys love flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!!!!!!
14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys EUR™ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting.
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships

Numerology Thingy

2010-06-01T18:47:00.002+07:00

So i googled 'numerology' on google----actually it's for my web designing task----and ta-daaa

NAME DATA

You entered: Pritamara Whayuningtyas

There are 22 letters in your name.
Those 22 letters total to 104
There are 8 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

BIRTH DATA

18 October 1995

Your date of conception was on or about 25 January 1995 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Libra.
Your Life path number is 7.

Your fortune cookie reads:
There is no limit to love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 4 & 22.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 3, 6, 8 & 11.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2450008.5.
The golden number for 1995 is 1.
The epact number for 1995 is -1.
The year 1995 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/31/1995 and ending 2/18/1996.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Pig.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Raven; your plant is Ivy.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Choiach, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 24 Tishri 5756.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 25 Tishri 5756.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.19.2.10.4 which is
12 baktun 19 katun 2 tun 10 uinal 4 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 23 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1416 (1416-5-23).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 16 April 1995.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 23 April 1995.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 1 March 1995.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 4 June 1995.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 11 June 1995.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 25 September 1995.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 15 April 1995.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 28 February 1995.

As of 6/1/2010 6:44:17 AM EDT
You are 14 years old.
You are 176 months old.
You are 763 weeks old.
You are 5,340 days old.
You are 128,166 hours old.
You are 7,690,004 minutes old.
You are 461,400,257 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Carly Schroeder (1990)	Wynton Marsalis (1961)	Jean-Claude Van Damme (1960)
Martina Navratilova (1956)	Pam Dawber (1951)	Laura Nyro (1947)
Mike Ditka (1939)	Lee Harvey Oswald (1939)	Dawn Wells (1938)
Peter Boyle (1935)	George C. Scott (1927)	Chuck Berry (1926)
Melina Mercouri (1923)	Jesse Helms (1921)	Anita O'Day (1919)
Lotte Lenya (1900)

Top songs of 1995

Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio featuring L.V.	Waterfalls by TLC
Creep by TLC	Kiss from a Rose by Seal
On Bended Knee by Boyz II Men	Another Night by Real McCoy
Fantasy by Mariah Carey	Take a Bow by Madonna
Don't Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days) by Monica	This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.09001956947162 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Friday.
Your lucky number is 6.
Your ruling planet(s) is Venus.
Your lucky dates are 6th, 15th, 24th.
Your opposition sign is Aries.
Your opposition number(s) is 9.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 139 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 15 candles.

Those 15 candles produce 15 BTUs,
or 3,780 calories of heat (that's only 3.7800 food Calories!) .
You can boil 1.71 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1995 there were 3,899,589 births in the US.
In 1995 the US population was approximately 248,709,873 people, 70.3 persons per square mile.
In 1995 in the US there were 2,336,000 marriages (8.9%) and 1,169,000 divorces (4.4%)
In 1995 in the US there were approximately 2,148,000 deaths (8.6 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1995 the population of Australia was approximately 18,196,054.
In 1995 there were approximately 256,190 births in Australia.
In 1995 in Australia there were approximately 109,386 marriages and 49,712 divorces.
In 1995 in Australia there were approximately 125,133 deaths.

Your birth flower is MARIGOLD

Your birthstone is Tourmaline

The Mystical properties of Tourmaline

Pink Tourmaline promotes female balance and protection. Green Toumaline promotes male balance.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Jasper

Your birth tree is

Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

There are 207 days till Christmas 2010!
There are 220 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

Interseted? Check yours!
Click the link below

Name Data

Birth Data

Life-Death

2010-06-01T13:36:00.000+07:00

Ada pepatah orang baik mati cepet. Karna dengan hidup singkat pun pahala nya udh cukup.
Orang jahat hidup lama. amalan yg dia dapet itu cuma sedikit-sedikit. Makanya dikasih waktu hidup yg lama untuk berusaha jadi baik,ngumpulin amalan.
Makanya gue sadar tuhan itu adil banget.
Nanti,dengan amalan yg sebanding,sama, orang baik dan orang jahat itu jadi tetep bisa ketemu di surga :)

lil pics

2010-05-07T17:33:00.001+07:00

THIS IS (NOT) IMPORTANT

2010-05-06T18:17:00.002+07:00

HEY THERE

contact me

msn: tararar@live.com
http://facebook.com/pritamaratara
http://twitter.com/taratar
http://benignpuss.tumblr.com
http://youtube.com/tharathatha18
http://myspace.com/tamaratar

intermingeled things(?)

2010-04-29T18:49:00.000+07:00

So i got this story from my mother's friend. Enggak deng, temennya temen nyokap.
this is all about Mrs....... You know who.
Jadi sebelom ngajar di sekolah gue yg sekarang ini, dia ngajar(kepsek) di sekolah lain di deket rumah gue. Dan kata temen nyokap gue, dulu dia lebih ber 'ulah' di sekolah itu.

anak nya si bu..... Sebut aja 'x' itu dapet nilai jelek(pelajaran ipa gatau apa) yang mengahruskan dia buat remedial. Dia disuruh remedial kan sm guru mapel nya, tapi dengan syarat harus bayar 20ribu.kalo gak bayar,nilai nya dibawah 6.
Akhirnya si X itu ngelapor ke emaknya kan. Kok disuruh bayar.
Emaknya gak terima kan. Masa anaknya mau her aja mesti bayar. Sama aja kan itu dengan 'beli' nilai.

Ahkirnya si emak nya X ngadep ke si Mrs. You know who itu(kepsek), karena kesel sm guru mapel itu.
Bukannya minta maaf atau berjanji menindak lanjuti guru mapel itu. Si bu kepsek malah balik marahin emaknya X

Emak: .....ya itu sama saja dengan beli nilai dong bu? Saya gamau anak saya dididik untuk jd 'tukang suap'?!
Mrs: ya memang seharusnya begitu bu. Kalo tidak suka silahkan keluar dari sekolah ini!!

kurang lebih gitu lah.
Parbet itu orang mendukung ko-rup-si h0h0

Belom sempet si emaknya X menindak lanjuti si mrs. Kepsek, eh.......si kepsek keburu pindah ke sekolah gue -.....-

Dan sekarang dia menjadi jadi h4h4

Satu lagi.
This story came from me ;D
Jadi kapan itu kan gue dipanggil pak agus ke ruang mrs...... Katanya sih mau ngomongin lomba kan(bareng anak anak yg lomba juga).
Pokoknya kan sampe disana ada guru-guru gitu sama prof.Zainuddin (yang ngajar les bahasa inggris di sekolah+pelatih lomba).
singkat cerita, di prof zainuddin lg ngejelasin tema story telling ke anak anak yg lomba story telling

(percakapan versi terjemah bahasa indonesia)=
Anak: boleh cerita tentang dongeng 3 babi kecil gt gak pak?
Prof: NO!!! Itu sudah jadul. Buat hal hal yg baru. Yg tentang issue sekarang ini misalnya yang lagi marak sekarang ini korupsi korupsi

Blablabla trs pak agus kan ngelawak(ngejek ttg org yg korupsi). Semua org yg di ruangan itu tuh ketawa. Kecuali si mrs. you know who -...- kicep dia gaberani ngomong ttg korupsi HAHA

Dan ini yg cukup malu maluin
Trs kan mr zainuddin ngmng lg

Prof: mrs, would you please make a letter then give it to these student's teacher. so that they can go out from the class during the lesson?
Mrs: oooh pokoknya materi nya harus yang fresh ya, jgn yang standar supaya menang(ga nyambung sm kata kata prof -.-)

pokoknya dia gak ngerti gt bahasa inggris nya -,-

Udahan ah nge gibah nya(tapi fakta)
Bye then. i just wanna share you all bout the story that i've got :))))

Back to Awkward Thought

2010-04-28T20:24:00.003+07:00

HEY HEY THERE I'M HERE!!!! LOVE Y'ALL SOOO MUCH (over-react -__-)

since the last time i opened this bloggy wiggy, i haven't posted anything yet ;p yeah because now i have sooo many things to do(?)
umm no. actually i write MORE things on MY TWITTER
because that addictive site is way more comfort than this blogger site ;)

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
then i wanna write SOME things about my nowdays life

umm first. i've got a new boyfriend named Nana. i think i haven't wrote about him,and 'our' thingy yet. But i guess i don't need to +.+
Just a single pict here:

btw i looked damn freaky there -_-

Then, a few weeks/days ago i've joined a competition :))))))))
Itu kayak lomba siswa berprestasi gitu deh. It's sooooo unpredictable and yeah it's sudden.
Kapan itu tau tau bu eva ngabarin kalo gua ikut lomba itu. Terus lomba kan tingkat kecamatan(gugus), and thank god i got the 2nd rank(for girls).
Habis itu kan 2 cewek 2 cowok ranking 1&2 dikirim lagi ke tinglat kabupaten.
Yang di ujikan di hari pertama itu academic-test(written), buat sinopsis pake bahasa inggris sama retelling story gitu. I was soooooooooooo nervous that time. bcs hm the academic written test was soooooooooooooo difficult o.O
But i think i the story telling was quite statisfying---- i got the highest score for story-telling!!!

Terus kan itu lomba hari pertama. Kalo masuk 6 besar baru lomba lagi besoknya.
Thank god i'm on the 3rd rank, so i joint the second day's competition.
Hari kedua itu wawancara (english&indonesia) terus unjuk bakat gitu. Buat unjuk bakat, i played the piano+singing h0h0 i sang 'takkan terganti' yang dinyanyiin Marcell ituloh -___- it's not really good i guess. bcs i trembled too much at that time idk why(biasanya aja nggak).
Abis itu ada kayak diskusi sama seminar gitu kan.
Pas seminar kan digabung(sd-smp-sma-smk), jad pas kelompok gua seminar ya pasti dikeroyokin(dikasih pertanyaan pertanyaan) but i think i did it well ;) udah gatau malu pokoknya pas itu, pede banget -__-

BUT...........Luckily i win :D:D:D:D:D:D juara 1 perempuan h0h0h0h0h0h0 udah jingkraktukteng pas menang -___-

Jadi ya nanti;gatau kapan, bakal lomba lagi ini gua se banten aha aha aha +.+

Ummmm
then then then
I'll go to Bali next Friday!!!! :))
Friday until Monday ha ha free from school!!! perfect timing---iguess i need a holiday
that's all now see ya later ;p

Tumblarity

2009-11-02T20:59:00.002+07:00

TamaraTara's Tumblr

love all the way

2009-09-24T18:49:00.000+07:00

i'm pretty sure that all of you have a 'childhood crush'
Then try to remember about it.
The time that you have someone that you adore most

Kids usually like someone based on some 'general' factors and criteria. And in every phase, kids change their 'crush' criteria

I'll take my own for example.
when i was just a stupid silly kindergarten girl, i used to crush someone that my friend does. Just following HAHA how stupid

Then when i grew older,hm about 7 yr old maybe, i used to crush somebody that often play with me. The one who always stay near by me, altough we're mocking each other

When i'm about 9 yr old, i started to look somebody by thier outer look. I had a bunch of crushes at that age, and hell yeah i used to be very selective. I crushes super-handsome boy.
In these age,people really love to look at their crush all the time and write down the moments when they meet their crush in their diary.
in these age,kids started to share their feeling with friends

And hm one addition, in these age me,myself, crush anybody without a clear reason and high criteria
For example,i used to crush someone who has a western-chinese face. and yeah i love those smart and serious look, also i think guy who wear eyeglasses are cool (but for sure,not the drool-looking one okay)

At the older age;about 10 or 11 yr old, people started to crush someone even without any reason. 'chemistry' hahahaa
still,they love to look at their crush secretly, but in these age people started to 'move on and take their first step' to get closer to their crush.
For example via text message,chatting and soo ooooon

In these green age, people started to know what is 'love',altough it's still hard for them to explain and even know what does love means.

at that age,people started to be in a relationship with the one they adore most

Some of them start a real relationship,but the other just wanna have some fun,experience, and even just for fulfilling their passion for getting thier crush

then when people grow older and older they'll started to know what does love actually means
It's about to sharing each other
adoring with purity
Understanding
Caring
tolerant to each other and together in hapiness or even sadness

Soooooo when you grow older,you won't love somebody without a reason. Your reason for crushing someone is not just about 'feeling' or 'chemistry'. You'll be more logical in loving, unlike the 'green' one,who love somebody outta logical way

Start a new problem.the common one
When you're gettin' older and you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You love him or her very much and both of you feel comfort each other.
everything's okayuntil one day you find someone,that makes you melted and you're crushing him or her and you're started to like him or her.
This is the most common complicated dilema.
You love yor BF or GF but in the other side you realized thatt your crush is the one that you've been looking for
Hahaahaha
if a kid is this position, i'm pretty sure that she or he will choose their crush
But the more mature one will think logically, and choose the best one

Yaaaa that's the example between kid and mature one in loving somebody

Gak jelas ya
Gataunih lagi lovesick

Misery Busines

2009-08-22T11:54:00.004+07:00

Hey ya ma' bloooooog :))
So i started o think what i should do during these fasting days. Then i got an idea; sell a 'DIY' thingsssss. then i'll sell it wiwiiw

And just see these are some of bandannas that i've made

Interested? Please click here
For more info just leave a comment on my photo at the link above,or just leave a message in my chatbox or post.

Thank you
:)))

Fasting

2009-08-22T11:42:00.002+07:00

wiwiwi helooooo
lama ya gak posting hahah.hm yes i'm too lazy to post anything. actually i have loads of things to be written here but the problem is i'm too lazy.
but nowwww i've blow my mood and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa finally i write something up here wahahaha

First i wanna say sorry to all of you. as an ordinary human with loads of faults,it is a must for me to say sorry for every mistake that i'v made.
I hope all of you forgive my mistakes :))
Let's start this fasting with no burden in our heart
ahahahaha

smooooooooooooooooochh

Tara

1

2009-08-07T17:20:00.001+07:00

udah setaun doong sama dia

Looks

2009-07-31T11:12:00.004+07:00

So, today's holiday. why? katanya ada study banding guru guru ke malang gitu.
But i feel boooooored , nothing to do.
em so i do looklet-ing,and hahaha it's not good

and then i found these when i visited lookbook.nu

oooooooooooooh i like it

27th-28th of July Wasn't My Lucky Day

2009-07-28T21:10:00.007+07:00

hey all
hope all of you are happy right now

27th-28th of July Wasn't My Lucky Day
that's this post title,why? you'll know

27th of July;
it was a bright monday. i woke up on time, then i directly prepare myself to go to school. kayak biasa lah ngepas ngepas waktunya, hastily. terus ternyata jemputan yang nganter aku ke sekolah udah nungguin di tempat biasa. I opened the car's door and suddenly i realized that something was happened to my arm. Sakiiiiiiit banget. aku dengan refleks yang lama langsung ngeliat tanganku dan guess what
THERE'S A BEE ON MY ARM! dia nyengat aku gitu! pantat lebahnya itu kayak muter-muter ngebor tangan aku, and it was sooooooooooooooo terrible. Sakit banget, makin lama makin sakit. sepanjang jalan aku ngoceeeeeh aja karna kesakitan gitu,ih parah banget pokoknya.
pas nyampe sekolah aku gak langsung upacara, aku ke uks dulu ditemenin nadya buat ngobatin lukanya.

itu baru kesialan di tanggal 27 yang tingkatannya masih medium. gak menyiksa dalam waktu yang lama. (soalnya habis dikasih obat jadi gak sakit2 banget,paling gatel doang)

28th of July OR TODAY;
aku dateng ke jemputan yang udah nunggu on time,gak kelamaan lah pokoknya. tapi ternyata Fitri belom dateng,yaudah jadi jemputannya gak jalan jalan nungguin dia gitu. I feel bored at that time. to make myself happy (?) i took my cellphone. then i sent some sms and i changed my handphone's wallpaper. pas habis ganti wallpaper aku batuk batuk gitu kan,yaudah hape ku ku taro di rok ku dulu. eeeeeeh tau tau fitri dateng, spontan aku langsung turun dari mobil supaya ngasih jalan fitri masuk ke mobil.
trus ya, akhirnya jemputannya jalan, setelah jalan rada jauhan dikit, suddenly i felt something's missing form me. then i remembered MY CELLPHONE!
langsung semobil ku ubek ubek,tas kubongkar,tas fitri juga, pokokna dijelajahin dhe kemana mana tapi gak ada. aku telpon ibuku (using fitri's cellphone)supaya tolong nyariin di tempat jemputanku tadi berenti.
but it's too late, my cellphone is gone.
sepanjang perjalanan kan aku nyoba nelpon hpku terus pake hp nya nisa, nyambung terus sih ke hape ku.tapi gak diangkat gitu. aku rada tenang awalnya; berati gak diambil
eeeeeeeeh tapi pas siangan dikit, begitu coba ditelpon sama ibuku udah gabisa. di reject terus. aaaaaaah pupus harapan ketemu hapenya. masaahnya i've search it everywhere and i still can't found it.
untuuuuuuuung ubuku gak marah marah,dia bisa memaklumi soalnya hape ibuku juga abis ilang tiga tiganya. haha like mother like daughter.

tapi (sedikit) untungnya, hp ku di lock,jadi mau nyala pun gabisa dibuka.(kecuali sama tuakn2 ahli gitu,itujuga data2ku jadi ilang,gabisa dibaca si copetya.

terus, nomer yang ada di hape ilang itu bukan nomer utamaku; cuma nomer cadangan aja (nomer yang utamanya lagi diurus karna error).
jadi info aja, nomerku tetep yang im3 yang belakangnya 3117 okaaaaaaaay
(tapi masih belom aktif)
JADI
KESIMPULANNYA
kalo mau contact aku sementara ini cuma bisa ketemu langsung atau telpon ke rumah. kalo pas kebetulan aku online,bisa chat. kalo nggak ya apa kek message kek,wtw kek.
pede banget ya wooooooooooooo
tapi kan info

yang jelas
I FEEL SOOOOOOOO UNLUCKY!!!!!!!!!
aku bisa jadi primitif tanpa hape. para banget deh aaaaaaaah.

Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,
Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,PrimitifPrimitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif,Primitif

AAAAAAAAAAH I NEED NEW CELLPHONE! tapi aku gak mau yang gsm item utih yang ada senternya gitu ihhhhhh gaenak make nya awww

hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,hp ilaaaang,
hp ilaaaang,
HP ILANG
PUAS?

udah ah aku jadi stres gara gara those two UNLUCKY DAYS
yaaa mungin orang heran gituyee ilang hp aja sampe seheboh ini.
terserah mau pada bilang apa, pokoknya sih kalo aku ilang hp sih sedih bangetbanget. contact2 disana semua, catetan2 penting aku disana semua juga, password account2 ku disana juga.foto foto juga.aaaaaah sedih lah pokoknya aah

now, what i

can do is just hoping, and praying
berdoa supaya dapet hp yang baru. berhrap dapet hape baru,yang kalo bisa lebih bagus daripada yang ilang HAHAHA NGAREEEP
ya gapapa deh ngarep.
jadi sekarang aku coba ikhasin yang ilang.
smoga dengan di ikhlasin itu jadi jalan terbaik. siapa tau sebagai gantinya dapet yang lebih

AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

BYE!

&mandaannisa &mine

2009-07-26T18:14:00.004+07:00

hello
that's a strange title actually. but yaaaaaaaa all i wanna do is to share those pics; my pics with annisa and amanda hihi
hm kan kemaren main sama manda sama nisa loooooooooooh
here are the pics;

Tara(me),manda,nisa

manda,nisa,tara

nisa,tara,manda

me and manda

that's me and nisa

hahaha it was so fun that day we talked about maaaaaaany things, our pastimes,gossips and so on.

and my own photoshoots with my new ponny hihi

haaaaaaaaaaaaah that's all i think. my time is limited.
i need more sundaysssssss ~_~
okay fellaaaas byeeeee
smoooooooooooocccch

TARA

It's LOVE ♥

2009-07-22T21:11:00.003+07:00

LOVE♥

Love is about sharing stories till you tire,
togetherness forever,
having someone to scratch your back,
knowing you're never by yourself,
having someone to share your life,
having into every word you say,
and
waiting for you to return

boo hoo hoo it's soo sweet isn't it? yehayaayyaay

Whenever you feel gloomy
i'll give my shoulder for you,
Whenever you face a mountain
i'll give you my hand to climb it together,
Whenever there's a river in front
i'll grab your hand & swim with you,

There's no way i'll let you to face the world alone
no matter what it takes for me, i'll walk by your side

I read and got these 'quotations when i was netsurfing a few days ago, and yesss i think it's great. meaningful. Love in here doesn't always refer to a boy-girl relationship. But also friendship yes.
WHY do,did, i post this stupid lebay quotes to my blogseey? yeah, (i'm sorry,if these sentences is too over or lebay hahaha) i just wanna tell to eveyone that i LOVE; friends,family, boyfriend and evvvvvery one, that they're NEVER EVER be alone. Love will always take place in their life, will give goodness that's better than anything.

that quotes above also answer some of my questions about 'what is love?', the true one, aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh lalalalalala too sweet rite rite rite?

AND YESSSSSSSSSS
FOR my family,friendssss,boyfriend,pet (hihi you now i love my cat that much) that
I"LL BE THERE OKAYYYYY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

oh yessss shttttttttt banget im3 ku sinyalnya kosong udah 5 hari an. soooo sorry for NO-reply from my im3 number okayyyyy
Semoga cepet bener deh tuh

don't cha ever try to judge me unfairly

2009-07-06T13:35:00.004+07:00

hahaha judulnya gak nyambung nyambung amat sih huehe
tadi iseng iseng ngisi quizes di facebook gitu

what your birthday say;
birthday date : 18

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other and, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.
hahaaha that's true

Your Love

You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. yes thats right :D
Your partner also has similar character (?) so
affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous, a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. drama? haha are you sure? sok tau lo numerology :P

Tapi basically sebagian besar bener deh.

Terus ada lagi;

What Your Birth Month Says about you
October:

Your are :

Loves to chat - haha yes mayybe, terutama sama yang udah deket
Loves those who loves her - of course! tapi gak semuanya deng
Loves to takes things at the center - in some cases yes.
Attractive and suave - ha?
Inner and physical beauty - amiiiiiiiiiiin
Does not lie or pretend - in some cases,tapi seringnya biasanya sih iya
Sympathetic - yes
Treats friends importantly -haha right
Always making friends - not always maybe,i'm not that bubbly type
Easily hurt but recovers easily - yes that's me
Daydreamer - you say it
Opinionated - haha sometimes
Does not care of what others think - BIG no no. sangking kepikirannya bisa stres aku mikirin
perkataan orang lain
Emotional - hm? maybe
Decisive - hm? maybe
Strong clairvoyance - hm? maybe
Loves to travel, the arts and literature -haha yes yes
Soft-spoken, loving and caring - amiiiiin.tapi iya deng
Romantic - ha?
Touchy and easily jealous - yesssssssss
Concerned -yes
Loves outdoors -not really
Just and fair -yeaah
Spendthrift and easily influenced - hm hm
Easily lose confidence - yes! my self-esteem easily drop
Loves children - haha yes,tapi kalo yang nyebelin sih tetep aja males

jadi conclusion;
yang date says itu lebih pas. yang month juga lumayan tapi banayk sok taunya juga hahaha
ah udah lah sok tau lo
byeeeeee
smoooooooooch

Hawl-e-day

2009-07-06T13:25:00.005+07:00

whoaaaaaaa there and back again
hello ma blogseeeeey hihi ;p
this holiday isn't that bad,but not that good (?)
hahaahaha selama liburan ini palig pas masih di bsd cuma jalan jalan aja,mall to mall,main ke ruma temen and sooo on. but noooow
I'm at Bandung wihiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D
tapi yaa gak seru seru amat sih ya. paling ke FO FO aja, makan, selebihnya ya di rumah rumah juga ujungnya -____- tapi lebih mending disini sih,gak sebosen dirumah
But suddenly i'm missing my home :'(
i miss my friendss too
i'll go home at tuesday night or wednesday. Dan aku sama gita sama moza udah planning mau jalan hihi tapi sayang udah gak ada deniseeeeey :"(

New Year-School Period

2009-07-02T12:04:00.003+07:00

Hello blogseeeey
tadi aku ke sekolah dong -,- ya kan mau daftar ualng gitu lah (aneh deh sekolah ngapain daftar ulang sekarang -,-)
terus sekalian liat masuk kelas mana di taun ajaran besok
dan hahaha i'll be at 8.8
gatau sih anaknya gimana gimana tapi yaa lumayan doong sama andin, sama nisa huahaha
tapi kasian si nadya di 8.9 sendirian (ya gak sendiri sih)

Terus pas udah rada sepi kana ada aku andin sama nolzha,terus kita minjem daftar nama kelas nya gitu ke bapak bapak. eh dikasih huahaha

ini yang 8.8

ini yang 8.9

gak penting yakan? kalo mau liat jelas lagi di klik aja gambarnya
aku di 8.8 sama andin, bella, annisa, maitsa, azka, deasy, uma, ory (7.9), harfit, kesyad, nana, dimas, fahmi (?katanya pindah), hauzan, aga (7.9), nabila, natha, raihan (7.9), raka, angggi, rusyda, billa sama windy.
okelah ya gapenting

and just
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Boredom

2009-07-02T11:56:00.003+07:00

taugak?
kemaren itu hari paaaaaaaaling ngebosenin sepanjang idup. aku udah kayak orang gila driumah ihh ampun
akhirnya foto foto aja

terlalu gak penting ya? okelah who cares?

Past, Now, Then

2009-07-01T14:16:00.004+07:00

Hey there
new month's coming. i don't know whether i should be happy or not. because?
yaaaaaa it's new month. it means that i should regain some new brilliant power and spirit. new month new things,new days.
oh yeaaaaaah
first;
Happy Birthday Moza Ayudina Larasati my dearset friend hihi
(emm it's too late actually to say this. her birthday was 30th of June ahaha but it's okay)

But, by the end of June, Denize Ruziqa Zandy Azwir, my bestttt,my lovliest friend transfers to BALI. :"(
bye bye Deniiiiiiiiiiiis mwah take care ya
kesini lagi dooong nis

Sedih deh.

Back to yesterday then.
I met Denis for the verry first time pas masih playgroup, di Cikal dulu. Yaa pas playgroup gak kenal banget sih. Tapi pas TK B gitu aku lumayan deket sama Denis.
The silly-est things that we had done itu, dulu. Masa kita suka sok sok an ngomong bahasa inggris gitu,padahal bisa aja nggak. jadi ngomongnya asal gitu;

Denis; asterwhwgeihthelzhekjekehahasdyha?
Tara; wesartrknhgliaj'gdj'ioghd[s'khnse'im

Idih amit amit ya ank TK,sok sok an basa inggris malah jadi bahasa alien gitu ih yaolloh kelam banget.

Terus pas SD nya itu mulai deket lagi pas kelas 3 gitu. sama Demotaza; denis mona tara zahra. AHAHAHA stupidddd. silly. aneh gitulah ah. kita temenan terus gitu sampe kelas 6 an ada big, massive,immense problem yang buat aku sama denis berantem paraaaaaaaaaaaaaah banget.
And guess what is that fuckin' problem. Boy. A boy. -____________-
I can't imagine why, a friendship, could be ruined just because of
haha iya kan singkat ceritanya itu denis suka sama cowok yang
aku sih ya biasa aja waktu itu tapi lama lama si denisnya jadi kayak mau ngancurin relationship kita gitulah haha benalu gitu deeeeeeeh
AHAHA (peace niis ;p) A BOY

haha iya kan singkat ceritanya itu denis suka sama cowok yang waktu itu cowokku.
aku sih ya biasa aja waktu itu tapi lama lama si denisnya jadi kayak mau ngancurin relationship kita gitulah haha benalu gitu deeeeeeeh
AHAHA (peace niis ;p)
jadinya kita berantem gitu. tapi yaa lama lama baikan juga kok (lagian akhir akhirnya si cowok itu juga gak sama salah satu dari kita hahaha)

Terus mulai deket lagi setelah lamaaaaa banget berantem. mulai dari ciskek gitu lah

here are ciskek's pics;

yang lenkap cuma ini doang.masih jaman dulu banget deh ihh

ini gak ada mozey nya hehehe ;p

yaaa berarti now,sekarang kalo denis pindah ya jadi sepi gitu ih :'(
gak ada yang bisa diledekin kalo ada mas mas lewat :"(

AAAAAAAAAH i guess everything will change after this. whether it is me personally,or things around me.
iya kan? habis bentar lagi taun ajaran baru sekolah. pasti everything change rite? (fallacy, ada tuh di materi grammar)
not everthing actually.
i hope some things will not change. but also, i hope some things change.
HAHAHA it's so complicated isn't it?
boo hoo hoo
pokoknya new lah.
yaa of course i,also have dreams and wishes. salah satunya bisa keep in touch sama orang orang yang jauh dari aku, yaa kayak denis gitu. tetep bisa be friend gitu lah yayayaya :)

PAST NOW THEN. PAST PRESENT FUTURE

Treasure Hunt Cleanup

2009-07-01T13:30:00.007+07:00

Hello my deeeeeeearest blog ahaha
taugak kemaren i've made a big change to my room. gak big big amat sih,orang cuma diberesin doang -,-
kan kemaren tuh bener bener gak bisa tidur. Yaudah gatau kesambet setan apa, jam 11 maleman,aku keluarin semua barang ang ada di lemari,study desk, boxes, seeeeeeeeemuanya dikeluarin. fyi, my room was soooooooooooooooo untidy that time, sampe hp aja bisa ilang di kamar yang cuma segitu gedenya. jadi mulai deh aku bersihin.

it's sooooooo messy rite? yeah it was my room's condition pas aku keluar keluarin semua barangnya hahaha

but, because of this sudden cleanup, i found a looooooooooooooot of things. many superb things. superb for me i mean.
banyak old thingy yang kutemuin, yang kalo menurutku sih ada memory nya gitu,memorable things. that's it.

haha look at this. what's this? bag. that's rite. ini tuh tas souvenir ulangtaunnya siapa gitu lupa deh.pokoknya ini souvenirnya. tas nya rada aneh emang tapi unique sih

kiri ke kanan; ini tuh buku aku, yang isinya macem macem deh dari kuis kuis,profile tempelan foto foto daaaaaaaan sebagainya. IH amit amit banyak alay nya di dalem situ uhahahaha.
terus itu my first diary,yang forever friends itu gambarnya hihi ;p. cupu sekali deh diary itu. bahasa bakunya gak ketolongan,cerita aneh,jayus, yang khas anak kelas 2 sd gitu lah.
yang pojok itu 'happy new year' card yang aku buat sendiri loh waktu masih tk ahahaha. itu dulu kan aku punya 'making cards package' gitu, nah dari situ aku buat deh kartu gitu. ih yaolloh amit kan gambarnya beruang cacat megang balon gitu ihh tapi kocak sih gambarnya :D anak tk gitulohh

LOOK AT THIS? WHO? WHEN?
okay. confession.
right to left, it's gita,moza and me. WAHAHA our darkest moment! darkest phase! ahahhaha liat tuh foto makan tuh sampe enek liatnya. muka mengalay sok imut. si moza malah sok sok nutup mulut ahahahaha kelam ya

banyak lagi sih barang barang yang kutemuin. lampu sama kabel bekas percobaan ipa kelas 6, foto foto,kertas kertas coretan, cute pins,dan yang ngeselin ada foto si mantan. ahahaha lengkap dengan kenangan kenangannya HAHAHA kocak banget deh,aku kira udah ilang ditelan bumi semua.
Jadi nginget masa lalu tuh kalo udah beres beres gini. AHAHA bingung deh dulu sebenernya si mantan bener sukasayang saya gak sih? ahaha pokoknya kocak lah

okelah stop. bye
catcha' later

Stardoll

2009-06-30T15:24:00.005+07:00

eh he helloooooooo
eh taugak. i play stardoll ahaha my character's name is Taraverre ahaha tapi masih cupu gitu. habisnya gak begitu ngerti. kalo ada yang main stardoll juga dan ngerti, bilang yaaaaaaa

hahahahaha

40 Fakta Dunia Terlucu-gak jelas

2009-06-30T15:11:00.001+07:00

i found this thing when i felt veeeeeery bored. Lupa di situs apaaaa gitu
pokoknya langsung ku copy paste karena iseng aja ;pp

40 Fakta Dunia Terlucu

1. Coca-cola dulu berwarna hijau.
2. Nama yang paling umum digunakan di dunia adalah Mohammed.
3. Dalam bahasa inggris, semua nama benua diawali dan diakhiri dengan huruf vokal yang sama.
4. Otot terkuat yang ada di badan kita adalah lidah.
5. Setiap orang di USA punya 2 kartu kredit!
6. TYPEWRITER adalah kata terpanjang yang dapat diketik dalam satu baris tuts keyboard anda.
7. Perempuan ngedip dua kali lebih banyak dari pada laki-laki.
8. Menahan nafas tidak akan membuatmu mati.
9. Setiap manusia tidak dapat menjilat siku tangannya sendiri.
10. Kalau ada orang mengucapkan doa setiap kali ada yang bersin karena memang setiap kali kau bersin, jantungmu berhenti satu milisecond.
11. Secara fisik, setiap babi tidak bisa melihat ke langit.
12. Ucapkan “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” beberapa kali, nanti anda akan mahir berbahasa inggris!
13. Bersin terlalu keras dapat mematahkan tulang iga, memutuskan pembuluh darah di kepala atau leher dan mengakibatkan kematian.
14. Setiap raja dalam kartu remi melambangkan raja-raja besar jaman dahulu kala:

Raja sekop - Raja Daud
Raja keriting - Alexander Agung
Raja hati - Raja Charlemagne
Raja wajik - Julius Caesar

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
16. Kalau ada patung orang naik kuda dan dua kaki depan kuda itu naik di udara, itu tandanya orang itu mati dalam perang.
17. Kalau kaki kudanya cuma satu yang diangkat berarti orang itu cuma terluka dalam perang.
18. Kalau semua kaki kudanya menjejak tanah, berarti orang itu meninggal karena sakit.
19. Apa persamaan rompi anti peluru, printer laser, tangga darurat dan wiper mobil? Jawabannya: semua ditemukan oleh perempuan! Hah!
20. Satu-satunya makanan yang tidak bisa busuk? Jawaban: madu.
21. Buaya nggak bisa melet lidah.
22. Siput bisa tidur selama 3 tahun.
23. Semua beruang kutub KIDAL!
24. American Airlines menghemat $40,000 tahun 1987 dengan cara mengurangi 1 buah olive dari setiap piring salad yang mereka sajikan untuk penumpang kelas 1.
25. Indera perasa kupu-kupu ada di kaki.
26. Gajah adalah satu-satunya hewan yang tidak bisa lompat.

27. Selama 4000 tahun belakangan ini, jenis hewan yang dipelihara di rumah cuma itu-itu saja.
28. Rata-rata manusia lebih takut pada laba-laba daripada kematian.
29. Shakespeare menemukan kata: “Assassination” dan “bump”
30. Dengan menggunakan cara mengetik 10 jari, STEWARDESSES adalah kata terpanjang yang bisa diketik hanya dengan jari-jari tangan kiri.
31. Semut selalu jatuh ke kanan setiap kali disemprot cairan anti hama
32. Kursi listrik ditemukan oleh seorang dokter gigi
33. Jantung manusia dapat menyemprotkan darah sejauh 30 kaki.
34. Dalam 18 bulan, 2 ekor tikus bisa punya lebih dari sejuta anak tikus!
35. Memakai headphone selama satu jam dapat menstimulasi perkembangan bakteri dalam telinga sebanyak 700 kali lipat!
36. Pemantik ditemukan sebelum korek api.
37. Setiap lipstik mengandung sisik ikan.
38. Seperti sidik jari, lidah manusia pun mempunyai kontur yang berbeda-beda.
39. 99% orang yang membaca tulisan ini mencoba mengalikan fakta no. 15
40. Dan akhirnya, 99% orang yang baca tulisan ini pasti mencoba menjilat siku

Tiring day;jak cloth,wedding blahblahblahslurppp

2009-06-28T19:39:00.007+07:00

Halo blogseeeeey :3
Today's a berrrrrrry tiring day. Iya tadi pagi tuh aku bangun aja udah males, pagi bangun disuruh solat,abis itu tidur lagi baru bangun jam setengah sebelasan. eh habis itu tau tau my mommymomma nyuruh aku cepet cepet mandi siap siap gitu ke acara kawinan gitulah. ihh malesbanget kaaaan,mana jauh lagi di daerah bekasi. Padahal pengen lke Jakcloth gitu tdainya. Tapi akhirnya momma bilang kalo habis dari situ gak apa apa kalo mau ke Jakcloth. sebenernya dengernya udah males. jakcloth, with mommy. uuugh gaasik kan. pasti baru bentar udah minta pulang -,-
akhirnya pulang dari kawinan jadi ke Jakcloth deh mihihi :>
ahh banyak yang bisa diliat dan dibeli tuh disana. BUT; Unfortunately, ibuku udah mulai ogah ogah an,minta pulang.yang katanya panas lah, sumpek lah,penuh lah blablablahhhhhhhhslurpp
Dan okelah ketebak kan; aku kurang lama disana. I NEED more time to be spent there. Tadi padahal aku ngincer ada blazer disitu yang kuwl gitu.aku liatnya pas baru masuk. eh pas kucari lagi gak ketemu, lupa dimana (atau udah dibeli kali yaaa). Terus ada lagi semacem mini dress gitu awwwwwsome warnanya ungu.Ungunya gak ungu emak emak soalnya. eeeeeh tapi ibuku udah rewel gitu ih males yaaaaa. Terus ada tas coklat gitu ahhhh banyak lah beberapa yang gak kebeli gara gara ibuku rewel. Katanya ibuklu pusing gitu. Iya sih kuakuin aku kalo milih barang gitu suka lama, yang nungguinnya suka gak tahan sangking kelamaannya HAHA ;p
AND guess what, i only get 1 top -,- :

yaa setidaknya dapet daripada nggak sama sekali -________-
Terus beli juga sih ada 1 t-shirt lagi aku,tapi gak difoto,males. ini juga difoto lagi iseng aja.
Sama t-shirt buat Dio.

Terus pulang dari Jakcloth ke Sultan Hotel dulu beli cakeeeeeey yihiiii :))

Terus..

Terus pulang deh haha.Iya habis udah homesick sih huahahaha

Balik ke rumah lagi bosen bosen an lagi -,-
Tapi untuuuung tanggal 2 jadi ke Bandung ;pp
ya biar ganti suasana gitu biar gak bosen.lagian bisa makan makan kan kalo dibandung,terus bisa huntingshoping lalalalalala
Eh iya
masa sepanjang liburan pendek ini trousers ku,pants ku, skirt and blahblahblah yang bawahan lah jadi menyempit gitu ihhh
Iya sih wajar,liburan aku gak banyak gerak. bangun siang,ngebo melulu, habis makan online,nonton ya gitu gitu aja lah pokoknya.
Aku udah coba sih kurangin makan,and it work to loose some weights in me. Tapi kata my mommymommas kurangin makan itu cuma pengaruh besar ke berat doang,tapi dari fisik keliatannya tetep gak keliatan kurusan -__- wtf sekali kan
iya sih sebenernya kalo mau keliatan kurusan itu yang penting OLAHRAGA. Work something out. And i think that's a verrry hard thing. the thing that included in my blacklist. aku males.itu tepatnya. i jusst love to curl up like a cat and just watch tv. Tuh kan bad habit banget
ah udah lah ah ya postingannya jadi ngelantur kemana mana HUAHAHA
udah ah i think my simmysimssey is waiting for me. aku mau lanjutin bangun rumah masterpiecenya keluarga Beltham di sims 3 ahaha byeeeeee
thanks for reading
smooooooooooooooooooochh
:))